The things we hold dearly seem to grip our hearts more than we can imagine. Sometimes I wonder about the dilemma of the “Rich young man” before Jesus (Matthew 19:16-22). He really wanted to follow Jesus, but there was something that gripped his heart more than his desire to follow Him.
Unfortunately this young man’s wealth had a grip on his heart. But isn’t this the case with many of us? If not money, it’s something else of importance. We want to follow without any limits, but there seems to be something that pulls us back.
Maybe the young man came to Jesus with a desire to help Jesus using his wealth. He probably felt a genuine desire to help with the expenses of Jesus and his disciples. Maybe he had political intentions in the coming kingdom that Jesus talked about. Maybe he recognized Jesus as the Messiah and truly wanted to be his follower.
When Jesus asked this man to sell all he had and give to the poor, he just couldn’t bring himself to do that. Jesus didn’t even ask him for a tithe of the proceeds. He was to simply get rid of everything. But those things had a firm grip on his heart.
What if the man obeyed and began selling off his possessions? As each item of value was sold off and the proceeds given to the poor, his heart would be torn. One by one, each transaction would tear up his insides. Everything he valued in life, and those things that gave him significance would be torn away.
His friends and family would probably desert him. They would either think he has gone crazy or is simply going through some weird phase in life. But clearly, he would lose friends, status, recognition, and those things that would be seen as valuable in society.
By the time the last item is sold, he would be stripped of everything in his heart. More than the material “stripping” that would happen; his heart would be stripped of the things that have a hold on his life. The problem was not his wealth. The problem was his heart that held on so tightly to the things of this life.
Then, when he comes to Jesus, he would come completely broken and empty. At that point, he would be able to receive all that Jesus has for him as a disciple. His heart would be open to the transforming work of the one he follows.
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Category: Inspiration
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We have seen the powerful, confident, miracle working Jesus through the Gospels. He is to be our example…but how? How can he understand our struggles? What does he know about the problems that we face? He had all the powers of Heaven available to him.
Jesus experienced the same struggles as we do. But we fail to recognize those experiences in the Gospels. Here are some of His experiences:- Misunderstood – People misunderstood his entire life and mission. There was no one on earth who could understand the reality of his struggle. With whom could he share the struggle of being God and Man simultaneously?
- Rejected – As he spoke of his Father, the people understood that as blasphemy because he was equating himself with God. So, here was a truth that could not be spoken. He spoke it anyway, but suffered lots of accusations for it.
- Opposed – Because he was different in his approach to so many things, he was constantly opposed. He was called a drunkard, glutton, and a friend of sinners. The core of his mission on earth was for those who were broken, but that “core” caused so much opposition.
- Inner Struggles – He struggled with his personal desires and his purpose of being on this earth. In the Garden of Gethsemane, we see a glimpse of his personal struggles. So, Jesus did have the desire to so his own will separate from the will of the Father. He did struggle with such desires, but gave himself up for the Father’s will.
- Betrayed – His family and friends knew who he was and his passions, but they could not accept that reality. They simply mocked him.
- Homeless – He said, “Foxes have holes, and birds have nests. But the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.” (Luke 9:58) That statement of Jesus was not just a neat saying, it was a reality. Possibly one of the reasons he roamed the countryside was that he had no home to call his own.
- Accused of using Black Magic or Sorcery – The teachers of the Law said that Jesus expelled demons using the powers of the prince of demons.
- Accused of being a revolutionary – Although Jesus clearly expressed that his Kingdom was not of this world, the people could not understand. They were so hopeful of the Roman power being overthrown that they could not grasp the heart of what Jesus taught about the Kingdom of God.
For those who struggle, hurt, and suffer, remember that Jesus was “A man of sorrows, acquainted with grief.” (Isaiah 53:3b)
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We were in the mountains of Sikkim, near a town called Namchi. My wife, daughter, and I visited this area for the first time. It was after being healed of chronic back pain that I had for 17 years. With every step, I thanked God for healing and restoration. I could never imagine climbing and walking like this before. The hills and mountains around Namchi were quite steep, and every step was amazing to me. In fact, one of the villages we visited required a climb of more than 260 steps (pictured below).
The mountains were beautiful and I enjoyed every minute as all my prior expectations were blown away. Before my healing, I was never be able to move my body as I used to. One by one, each MRI revealed that my back was falling apart. I could barely stand, sit, or lie down without excruciating pain.
I finally asked the doctor, “Does this mean that my back will eventually collapse and I’ll finally be crippled? The doctor struggled with that question and stumbled for words as he explained that the damage was irreversible. Then he said that an operation may help, but the success rate was too low and the risk too high.
I felt like my body was giving up on me. It was as if there is still life left in me, but my body was giving up too early. I experienced somewhat of a feeling of betrayal. My body should have stayed with me for the rest of my life. It was a deep internal struggle that was unexplainable.
When David was betrayed by his own son Absalom, he had to flee. David realized there was no one to trust except God. Thus he responded: “But you, O Lord, are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head. I cried aloud to the Lord, and he answered me from his holy hill” (Ps 3:3-4). David had lost all hope, and in the midst of his distress, he reminds himself that God is his hope.
In my utter helplessness, God in his mercy, put me through about two years of emotional healing and finally experienced his miraculous touch in June 2012. The pain was miraculously gone and I was able to resume all my former activities. You can read about the healing at this link.
The mountains of Namchi were a testimony to God’s faithfulness and healing power. What is impossible with people is possible with God.
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Better to die than to love
At the most severe point of my mother’s struggle with Cancer, we all had many questions and doubts, but she kept all her questions to herself. Through the several years of suffering, I don’t remember her complaining or grumbling against God. It seems she took it all in stride, as part of her life. She continued to love God without any reservations.
Similarly, when Job was at the deepest level of his suffering, his love and commitment to God was questioned. “Then his wife said to him, ‘do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die.’ But he said to her, ‘you speak as one of the foolish women would speak. Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?’ In all this, Job did not sin with his lips.” (Job 2:9-10) His love for God went beyond his physical and financial condition. His circumstances were clearly in shambles, but his love for God continued intact. The words spoken by his wife would have pierced his heart more than all the tremendous losses in life. But his wounded heart held on firmly to the love he had for his God.I’d rather die than not love
To what extent will Job continue to hold on to his love for God? We get a glimpse of the extent of his love when he said “Though he slay me, I will hope in him.” (Job 13:15a) There were no limits and certainly no boundaries to the love Job had for God. He considered it more valuable than life itself.
But really, can I be trusted? Will my love for God stay intact? What if I loose my job? What if my health deteriorates? What if my relationships turn sour? What if life itself simply falls apart? How will I respond to God?How can you challenge true love?
Paul was a man who suffered constant setbacks and brokenness, but he said: “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”
Nothing can separate you from true love
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present or things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:35-39)
Wow. That’s confidence!
But what about me?
What about you? -
Once a man asked me: “So, you’ve done your doctoral work in Old Testament?” I said “yes.” “Wow, that means you know everything about the Bible.” I was stunned by such a statement and simply said “not quite” and smiled. I’ve had similar conversations on several occasions with people who were impressed with academic achievements.
For those of us who have preached and taught from the Bible for many years, there is the danger of thinking we know God. Some may begin to think they have God all figured out. Their knowledge of the scriptures may give them a sense of having a comprehensive understanding about God. But God has only revealed to us what our limited minds can understand. Only a fraction of the fullness has been given to us. But there is so much more.
Job recognized this reality and said “Behold, these are the outskirts of his ways, and how small a whisper do we hear of him! But the thunder of his power who can understand?” (Job 26:14 ESV). God’s power and capabilities are much beyond what we can understand. He has only let us in on the “outskirts” of the full reality.
In the midst of Job’s tragic life situation, he was trying to make sense of everything. His attempts to try to understand God and his ways failed miserably. Nothing made sense, and certainly God’s response was far from his expectations. His friends came and made their attempt to grasp the reality of what they observed. But they couldn’t make sense of the situation either. It was at this point that he recognized that there is so much more to God and his ways.
So, has God been confusing you lately? Have you wondered what he is up to? Maybe he has gone much beyond your understanding of him and has you wondering. Maybe that confusion you are experiencing is the attempt to understand “the thunder of his power” and his ways. But as children completely trusts their parents, let’s trust our heavenly Father. He certainly has it all figured out.
Have you had any confusing “thunder” experiences lately?
You’re welcome to share it in the comments section of this blog post.
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Several years ago we lived in a town that was adjacent to a community where they had a special place for elephants. At this place, elephants were bred, raised, and trained for various purposes. These elephants were used to carry heavy loads, and to carry people on their backs. They were also dressed up and displayed during festivals and celebrations.The strength of these beasts is amazing. Once in a while, an elephant would go out of control. Seemingly in a sort of rage. At that time, they really display their true strength – much beyond what you could imagine. People get thrown around like dolls, trees get plucked from the ground like plants, and trucks get flipped over, and complete havoc is the result.But when these animals deal with their young, they are amazingly gentle. Their great strength is set aside for a soft and gentle approach. Just to deal with their young, they are willing to come down to their level rather than expecting their young ones to come up to theirs.In the midst of his greatest struggles, Job looked to God and had an inward confidence. The confidence was that God would pay attention to him and come down to his level. Job said “would he contend with me in the greatness of his power? No; he would pay attention to me. (Job 23:6 ESV) His friends had accused him of severe negligence and sin. They said that all his “righteous” acts were just a cover-up for his sinfulness, and that his sins finally caught up with him. Now God is dealing fiercely with him according to his sins.But Job had a confidence that God would understand his weaknesses and limitations. He knew that God would come down to his level and would listen to him. Although his friends could not understand, he knew that God would.I am reminded of the concept in proverbs: “…but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” (Proverbs 18:24b ESV) The best one to do that, is God himself. He is the one who knows us fully. He knows all our weaknesses and sins, but continues to love us and draw us closer to him.So, in the midst of your greatest defeat or sin, remember the words of Job. “Would he contend with me in the greatness of his power? No; he would pay attention to me.” (Job 23:6 ESV) Go to him. He will certainly pay attention to you.Share your experience of God putting aside his great power to deal with you in gentleness.Share it in the comments section of this blog post.Photo by helga_ni Creative Commons license. -
I still remember the words quite clearly: “Alexi, I don’t know what it is that I did to deserve this severe condition.” She was a precious child of God who had lived with pain for several decades. Now, for the last several years, she was bed-ridden most of the time. She had practically no visitors since her condition was so bad. For many hours of the day, she was alone in her room, silently experiencing the pain throughout her body.In every area of her life, she had a positive influence. She was a good mother to her children. And in the churches she and her husband pastured she remained active as long and as much as her body would allow. But the questions remained not only for her, but for me as well. Why did she have to suffer so much? I’ve known her since I was seventeen. I know that there is nothing that would warrant such pain for such an extended period of many years.So there I was, standing by her bedside listening to some very difficult questions for which I had no answer. I am sure she had similar questions during these years that I’ve known her. But really, is God full of anger and violence? We see in the Old Testament that God had set some high standards for his people and expected them to live up to those standards. We also see him punishing those who do not live up to those standards. But between the high standards and the punishment, there is a lengthy time of waiting with patience. God wants his people to come to repentance, but his method is through showing mercy and kindness.Job talked about rebellious people and their arrogant words against God. Then he acknowledged that God “filled their houses with good things.” (Job 22:17-18a ESV) Throughout Israel’s history, we see that “Mercy Gap” of time where God waits and expects to see repentance as a result of his mercy.The writer of Romans also expresses the same idea with more direct words and says that God’s kindness is meant to lead us to repentance (Romans 2:4b ESV). Thus God continues to extend his mercy to us in the midst of our sin, disobedience, and even rebellion. When we look at the history of the people of Israel, we realize that the “Mercy Gap” is quite an extensive gap where God stretches his patience beyond all limits. Then, when that limit runs out, it is still his mercy that drives him to punish. But that punishment is not meant to destroy but to build up and eventually bring us to repentance.So, what about that lady who lived with pain for so many years? Since our God is a God of kindness with a large “Mercy Gap,” her problem was not due to the judgement of God. That we can safely rule out. She was a child of God who experienced much pain because of the brokenness of this fallen world we live in.How have you experienced God’s mercy in your life? How large was that “Mercy Gap” for you?You can share that in the comments section of this blog post. -
It was interesting to observe a transaction between a train passenger and a vendor Such interactions are quite intriguing in a multilingual and multicultural setting like India. The passengers may know a language the vendor doesn’t and may use that to their advantage. The customers make a quick and thorough analysis of the product while speaking to one another in a language the vendor may not understand. But one must be careful since there are plenty of people with a working knowledge of four or more languages.
So the item was passed around among the customers while they evaluated its quality, the price, the cost back in their own state. They may also consider the possible cost of manufacture, especially for a home made product. Then the bargaining begins with the customer suggesting a much lower price than the vendor’s original price. Normally a discussion follows with the possibility of an “argument” regarding the price and the actual value of the product. If the vocal exchange doesn’t turn into an explosion, several counter offers will finally bring both parties to an agreement in price.The writer of Proverbs lived in a similar bargaining society. He describes a similar situation: “’Its no good, its no good!’ says the buyer – then goes off and boasts about the purchase.” (Proverbs 20:14 NIV) I suppose most eastern societies are similar. The whole bargaining process is developed into a well formulated art. The words spoken may have a variety of nuances. The buyer does everything possible to point out the negatives and to bring the price down. At the same time, the seller attempts to highlight its value and bring up the price.It seems Job mentions a similar question, but regarding our faith in God: “What is the Almighty, that we should serve him? And what profit do we get if we pray to him?” (Job 21:15 ESV) This question was asked by those described by Job as “wicked.” For them, serving God was for the purpose of getting something from him, like some kind of financial transaction. But for Job, this was not the case. In the midst of his deepest struggle he said: “Though he slay me, I will hope in him.” (Job 13:15 ESV) Such a firm statement of trust clarifies to us that his faith in God goes deeper than material gain.So, what benefit was there for Job? All of Job’s sufferings were intended to test and prove this particular issue: Did Job serve God to gain material blessings? God was inviting Satan to test Job and see for himself. God was convinced that Job’s love for him went deeper than material things in life.So, what’s in it for me? What if I, like Job, was stripped of everything I value? Will my faith endure? I’m afraid to even think such thoughts. But what if?Have you had thoughts about the depth of your love for God? What were your greatest doubts?Share it in the comments section of the blog.Photo by { pranav } Creative Commons License -
Like a flash of lightening the pain shot through my lower back up my spine and down into both my legs. It was so severe that I could barely move my legs. This happened in 1995, as I was driving a delivery truck from Ft. Lauderdale to south Miami down Interstate 75 at about 4:30am. Since I could barely move my legs, I waited for the vehicle to gradually come to a stop on the side of the road. It took several minutes for the pain to ease a little and I was able to stand up and move around a bit.
In that one moment of pain, many thoughts went through my mind. Along with church planting, I was working two jobs since I wanted my wife to be home with our son who was one year old at that time. I really thought that this was the end of my working and earning years. But so early, I thought. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, I began quick calculations in my mind about the future. I had just reviewed my disability benefits during the previous week, and now I viewed that as a bad omen leading to this tragic event. Within a few seconds, plans were made to sell our home and move back into an apartment and scale down on many things including the new car we had just purchased.
About doing the ministry? I had no Idea about that. At that moment, my only thought was survival. Will I be able to somehow take care of my family? Will there be any hope?
The pain was so intense that within seconds, my dreams of achieving my goals and aspirations were shattered. I resigned myself to simply surviving and waiting for the end.
That experience in Florida was seventeen years ago. Physical pain has been my constant companion during the waking hours of almost every day. Now I am discovering that along with the physical, there was lots of internal pain that I never knew about. It was in 2011 that I began reading a book by Henri J. M. Nouwen, The Return of the Prodigal Son: A Story of Homecoming. That book opened my mind to the pain that was within me for so many years. In May 2012, as I read a book by Dr. Joseph Bowles, I learned how this emotional pain within me had a direct impact on my back pain. I thank God for the healing of my back, but the internal healing continues.
Would you share your experiences of pain and healing? You can share that in the comments below.
Please read the accompanying article. Click here.
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I keep on saying it, I keep on repeating it, but it seems like not one believes me. No, they don’t take me for a liar, but maybe they think I’m just being hopeful with a keen positive outlook. Several people asked me “are you sure its gone?”
The reality is that my chronic lower back pain is now gone. The pain stopped in June 2012. I’ve had this pain periodically since 1995, and five years ago, it became consistent all day and all night long. In fact its hard for me to remember a time without pain in the last five years. I think that as I suffered through all those years of pain, it was my wife Annie who took the brunt of the load at home and in every way as my condition worsened consistently.
As it is with milestones in our lives, several important events led to this freedom from pain. The first of these was a reading of the book by Henri J. M. Nouwen, The Return of the Prodigal Son: A Story of Homecoming. My friend Kevin Baker gave me that book as we visited a monastery in Buffalo NY. That book took me on a journey of deep searching within that I have never experienced before. Numerous times as I read that book, I could not continue as I had to allow my emotions to settle down. Of course, God’s spirit was doing an awesome work within me.
The second event was in November 2011, as my wife and I were attending a Vineyard Church gathering in Cebu, Philippines. During one evening, Brian Doerksen was leading worship, and the Spirit of God was all over me. I sat on the chair since there was no way I could stand. Lots of emotions and memories surfaced and I began writing (on my phone) in between sobs. Several people came by and laid their hands on me and prayed for me. Phil Strout spoke one of those days and touched on the idea that God’s ultimate purpose was to transform us into the image of His Son. As my back pain began to increase during that conference I missed several sessions while I rested in the room. Then Sukit Wangtechawat and the team from the Bangkok Vineyard came to our room and prayed for me extensively. They were helping me to look deeper within, and nothing seemed to make sense. But their visit to my room was also a significant aspect in opening those things that were closed for so long.
In April and May of 2012, my third event was the reading of a book on back pain by Dr. Joseph Bowles that had a great impact on my thinking regarding the whole issue. The focus of his book is that chronic lower back pain is caused by stress and unresolved issues of the past. Wow, what a thought. And what about all those MRI reports, X-rays, and all the other tests? Man, I am clueless on all that, but the pain is gone! Now I continue to read his daily reminders for stress free pain relief.
The fourth and major event that capped it all was while I was taking communion. I was speaking at a service at the New Life Fellowship in Bangalore in June. During the communion, I saw a vision of the cross (something like that picture above) and heard an inner voice telling me that on the cross, Jesus not only carried my sins, but every offense against me as well. This was an answer that I really needed all along. The issues are so deep and personal that it would be impractical to mention such things on this blog, that that thought really had a powerful impact on me.
Of course I cannot forget the many who have prayed for me and encouraged me on this path toward healing as I had spent weeks and months bed ridden. There were many non-judgmental ones who were an inspiration for me to continue. A special thanks to them as well.
Now I am on a journey. I keep exploring more “stuff” hidden within me from the past. As these issues of brokenness resurface, I experience more pain, but as I deal with each one, that pain goes away. Daily, along with my devotions I take some time out to write in a journal about my previous day, specifically about how I am handling my emotions and stress. And as i mentioned earlier, Dr. Joseph Bowles’ daily reminders are stored on my phone and my Kindle and I read them several time a day.
Thank you Lord for a new life.
In the comments below, feel free to share your experiences of healing while you are on this journey as well.
Please read the accompanying article as well: Click here.
