Seventeen years of chronic back pain coupled with lots of emotional issues plunged me into an impossible situation. It seemed like a future without hope. Each MRI report showed further deterioration of my disks. Even daily tasks were a painful process. I finally asked my doctor: “Will I eventually be crippled for life?” He struggled to slip out of that question.
The Impossible Happened
After about two years of emotional healing coupled with a miraculous touch from God, my back was completely healed. I was able to resume all my previous physical activities just as before.
Working Through Mental Agony
The two-year process of healing involved lots of journaling. Issues from my childhood through adult years were expressed in the journaling process. Lots of reading (specifically a book on back pain), lots of agonizing, and lots of prayer went into the writing of those journals.
The Facebook Push
After my back was healed, I posted a photo of me playing basketball on Facebook. Through posts, messages, and emails, people began asking about the healing. That led me to write out my story in detail and I posted it on my “dormant” blog. This was the kind of push that I needed to get me on the writing path.
An Ongoing Quest for Freedom
My healing was really a quest for freedom. It wasn’t a freedom from others and their words and actions. But it was a freedom from my own victim mentality and emotional quagmire.
The process of healing and quest for freedom continues even now. My blog is an ongoing expression of that quest. Although I write on a lot of topics, most of my posts are written from this perspective of living free.
Living Your Potential
I believe that only when you move toward freedom can you live your potential. Otherwise you will be stagnant and dragged around by all the emotional hang-ups.
An Invitation for You
Do you have a strong urge to please everyone, do everything, and be everywhere? I want to help you live with freedom and focus. Join me in the Journey as we process life and how to live it with freedom and focus.
When you subscribe to receive updates from my blog, you will also get a free copy of my book Living Your Potential.
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Tag: Agony
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It was too private to let anyone else know. His reputation would be completely shattered. His disciples would surely be confused and scattered. It would endanger his entire mission.
Throughout his entire life, this secret desire remained within him. It haunted him to no end. During those times when he spent entire nights in prayer alone with his Father, I am sure this desire came up as a topic of discussion. Probably a good part of the night was spent struggling over this one desire.
Then finally, several hours before his crucifixion, he went with his disciples to the garden of Gethsemane. He poured out his heart to his Father. When his heart became heavy, he took Peter, James, and John and went further away to pray. But as the evening progressed, he could stand the pain no longer. He had to open up the pain of his desire to his Father. So, he went further away from even these three to pray.
He cried out in agony…maybe not because of the torture that he was about to endure. The real agony was regarding this secret desire; the desire to disobey his Father. Doing anything against the Father’s will was completely out of the question. He knew that. He was fine with that. But still, deep within him, this desire remained.
But he never gave in to that desire. He held on and submitted himself to the will of the Father. That was his advantage above everything else. Although he could never share this with even his closest disciples, he felt free to share it with his Father.
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