“You? You won’t amount to much.” “Since you’re a poor student, you won’t be able to do much with your life.” “Are you sure you can handle that? You’re too skinny.” “Isn’t that motorcycle too big for you?” Those words and others similar to that pierced deep into my being. I never thought much of it through the years, but several years ago I began to understand the extent of the damage.
The constant onslaught of negative comments with little or no positives have an impact much beyond what we can imagine. The pain of negative words continue for some time, but after a while, the pain goes away. The pain is replaced by a certain numbness to those situations and negative words. But the roots of negativity go deep and continue to influence the person all through life.
These roots cause various problems in different people. Some deal with a constant sense of inability to make decisions. Low self esteem becomes the guiding principle underneath this person’s behaviours. Fear of being rejected by others will cause them to cave in and not excel in most things they do in life.
This person may have some dreams, but they never expresses those dreams. They cannot imagine that their dreams can ever be fulfilled. Thus they never take the steps necessary to live out those dreams. Its a trap that keeps them from moving forward.
For such a person, the change will come only with a dramatic impact through personal experiences, or a divine intervention. Sometimes, colleagues and friends take an interest in the person and help them to refocus.
But refocus is too simple of a word for someone who has been conditioned by decades of thinking that they can’t live their dream. Their past failures also attest to this negative concept that has held them back.
In essence the mind has to be reconditioned to think differently. Negative thoughts need to be replaced by positives. Thoughts of failures must be replaced by dreams about life and how there is hope for the future.
Most of all, come to grips with the reality of negative influences. Acknowledge the damage that has been done to your thought processes. Then make a decision that by God’s help, you will be able to reverse the negative effects into positives.
Trust that God believes in you and has your best interest in mind. Oh, you’ve always known that, but you’ve never accepted that for yourself. It was a reality for others and not for yourself. But God wants to do this in you. He has an awesome dream for you and wants you to live it out.
So, acknowledge the negative effects of the past and understand that God’s dreams for you can be lived out. Daily, pray and commit yourself to God’s dream for you. Allow your thinking to be transformed and subsequently, your words and actions will begin to change. With God’s help, you will think His way and begin to live differently and confidently.
More sure of yourself
Once you understand yourself from God’s perspective, you will see yourself differently. Your timid and fearful nature will begin to gradually change to confidence. This gradual shift to confidence will be a great asset.
When you are more sure of yourself, you can dream God’s dreams. Big dreams. Your thinking begins to expand and the horizon, the future, looks entirely different. New possibilities begin to appear in your mind like never before.
Initially you may suppress these dreams because you have been conditioned to think less of yourself. But as the transformation progresses, you become more sure of yourself. This feeling of confidence will be uneasy to you at first as you feel unworthy of such thoughts. Just allow God to work within you and replace the negative thoughts with His thoughts, GOD size thoughts. You will notice yourself becoming more sure of yourself.
Eventually the confidence within you will express itself outwardly. In your interpersonal relationships, you’ll be more assertive than ever before. You will notice the growing assertiveness and may want to pull back because of your years of negative conditioning. But now, God is working in you a conditioning that is different from the past.
Others will notice your new level of assertiveness. Especially when you have never behaved like this before. Your bold steps and words will be noticed by others.
I believe the greatest impact of your assertiveness will be in your performance. You continue to do the same work you’ve always done, but now, everything changes. Once your attitude changes from fear to confidence, and you begin to be more assertive, you will see greater results. Get ready for a change in your direction and future.
You don’t have to give in to the ideas and whims of others. You can listen to God’s voice and move forward; bold and assertive.
The confidence and assertiveness you sense must not be just a general sense of positive thinking. A clear trust in God and his dreams for your life needs to be the foundation. God’s dreams are the fuel behind your confidence and assertiveness.
You are replacing fear and timidity that has controlled your thoughts and actions most of your life. This can be done only with a quiet trust in God. He will live His dreams through your life.
You’ve not had much trust in yourself and your abilities, but now you replace that with a trust in God.