God’s design and purpose
- God designed sexual relationship as a means of procreating the human race and for the enjoyment of the married couple. God has instituted this act under the “covering” of a marriage relationship.
- Any use of this activity outside of God’s parameters makes the persons vulnerable in the spiritual realm. Demonic forces have the free reign in such instances and take advantage of the situation. They create ungodly soul-ties that permit further demonic activity within the lives of the individuals.
- Sexual activity that is against the original plan of God establishes ungodly soul-ties with the other person. These ungodly soul-ties become a prime entry point for the demonic. Usually, when there has been ungodly sexual activity, it is safe to assume that soul-ties have been established in that person. Satan uses these soul-ties to hold people in bondage throughout their lives. But when people get this part of their lives cleared and cleansed by God, lots of healing and deliverance can take place.
- Sexual activity outside marriage can include sexual activity between two unmarried persons, between a married person and an unmarried person, or between a married person and another person’s spouse. All of these are perversions of God’s original plan for human sexuality. These are all opportunities for ungodly soul-ties to develop, opening the doors for the demonic.
- The various perversions of God’s plan for sexual activity can include: sexual abuse, rape, bestiality, homosexuality and lesbianism, or any other form of sexual activity outside of God’s design. These unnatural and ungodly activities are all a deviation from God’s original plan for sexuality. These are all sure opportunities for the demonic to enter by way of ungodly soul-ties.
- Fantasizing sexual relations with others creates an opening in the mind of the person by which demonic forces enter and develop further sexual bondage. Often connected with these fantasies are pornography through magazines, videos, Internet, or any other means for stimulating the mind of the person toward sexual arousal.
“Sexual abuse involves any contact or interaction whereby a vulnerable person (usually a child or an adolescent) is used for the sexual stimulation of an older, stronger or more influential person. Sexual abuse is much broader than forced or stimulated intercourse. It includes any touching, rubbing or patting that is meant to arouse sexual pleasure in the offender.”
- Sexual abuse is a national plague. Research suggests that by the age of 18, a large percentage of women are victims of sexually abusive contact. Abuse of young boys by women is not unknown, and the abuse of young boys by older men in homosexual abuse is also very common. Men are even more reluctant than women to admit abuse. Like women, however, male victims are haunted by unjustified but disturbing questions about their own sexually.
Martial abuse – where sexual demands and practices go beyond the rightful physical relationship which God planned and purposed for men and women.
Incest – sexual contact of any degree with a member of one’s own family.
- Research suggests that the figure may be as high as 33% among men. In many cases, abusers were themselves victimized by parents, grandparents, relatives, etc. Abuse has been passing from one generation to another. As long as it would be kept a “family secret.” The abused becomes the abuser.
Damage of sexual abuse
- Victims of sexual abuse often wonder how past events can still be so damaging today. The damage of the past is not erased by time. Time may diminish memories, but it will not heal the wound.
- The feeling of powerlessness
- The question “why could I not stop the abuse?” lingers like a festering sore. “If I had only been smarter, stronger or braver, maybe it would not have occurred.” Nothing could be further from the truth! but begin told that it was not your fault, though 100% true, it does not usually help for long. in most cases the offender is much older than the abused, thus leaving the abused with the sense of being powerless.
Feelings of betrayal
- Sexual abuse is a tragic betrayal of trust. In most cases the offender is either a relative or a person known to the victim. The betrayal of being set-up and used by a loved one is profound. Such betrayal affects victims in at least two ways. They develop a hatred for their own God-given desire for intimacy and become suspicious of anyone who offers them love.
- Sexually abused victims find it difficult to trust other people even those who are obviously trustworthy. The abused will often view others with some degree of suspicion. In other words, sexual abuse makes it very difficult for a man or woman to believe that God has uniquely built and equipped them to love and be loved by others and by God.
Consequences of sexual abuse:
- Rebellion. (refusal to conform or cooperate, irrational anger)
- Secretive lifestyle.
- Inability to respond to love. (sometimes does not become obvious until after marriage when the sexual side of the relationship disintegrates through apparent frigidity)
- Promiscuity. (some abused people respond to their premature sexual maturity by living in a promiscuous lifestyle)
Dealing with sexual temptations
- Sexual strongholds are the dark dead-end of sexual temptation, sexual sin, and impure habit patterns. You may know about God’s plan of sexual purity and even agree with it, but try as you might, you can’t conform to it. It is likely that you are trapped.
- If we are going to take the way of escape from sexual bondage that God has provided for us, we must avail ourselves of God’s provision and change how we respond to every sexual temptation. (“You can’t stop birds flying over your head, but you can stop them building a nest”)
- Sexual sin has a certain pleasure and kick related to it as do any other addiction. We should be ready to renounce those pleasures which are highly momentary and more destructive. Looking to the cross and the high price that Jesus paid for our licentious behavior could help us choose once and for all.
- Ask Jesus to satisfy us, to fill us up with His love to an extent that these momentary destructive pleasures becomes worthless. There is nothing as intoxicating and satisfying as God’s love for us.
We must take those first thoughts captive and make them obedient to Christ. I can’t change the way I feel if I don’t change the way I think. If I want to feel right, I must think right. How we think controls how we feel. Scripture does tell us to control our thinking. “Brothers, stop thinking like children. In regard to evil be infants, but in your thinking be adults.” (1 Cor. 14:20). Our feelings are primarily a product of our thought life. If you want to feel right, you must think right. If our minds have been programmed wrongly, they can be reprogrammed. If we learned something the wrong way, we can learn it the right way.
- “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly.” The answer is in 1 Col 3:16. Merely trying to stop thinking bad thoughts won’t work, we must fill our minds with the word of God. God has no alternative plans. We overcome the father of lies by choosing the truth. Paul says we are to presently and continuously take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ (2 Cor. 10:5). We are not called to dispel darkness, we are called to turn on the light.
Sexual sin is a direct attack against the Holy Spirit in you. 1 Corinthians 6:13-20 says, “The body is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite himself with a prostitute? Never. Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body?for it is said, the two will become one flesh. But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit. Flee from sexual immorality. All other sin a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own. You were brought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.
Steps to freedom
- Ask God to forgive you for your sin.
- Forgive and let go of the person with whom you were involved sexually. Cut off all ungodly soul-ties with the person you are or were involved with.
- Renounce every pleasure received from the encounters and the relationship. Each relationship may have to be dealt with separately, if we require a complete cleansing.
- Covenant never to defile our bodies again. Ask God to restore back to you whatever you have lost to your partner and vice-versa.
- Ask God to restore lost sexual purity, innocence, chastity, and integrity.
This post is a part of a series of posts regarding Inner Healing. Click here to access the Introduction to Inner Healing and the entire list of topics in the Inner Healing series.