I was a 17 year old teenager who went to college as far away as I could go and stay within the mainland. Here was a typical kid from Bronx, New York, with all the common traits of kid growing up in that environment (I won’t explain – to protect the guilty). I believe it was God’s provision that I ended up under the tutelage of my teacher and pastor, Robert W. May. His life and ministry has continued to impact my life for the last 30 years.
The traits I mention below were clearly evident in this inspiring leader. I’ve observed each of these while I was a student and even afterwards. We kept in touch by phone over the years, and I made it a point to visit him several times within the last three decades.
Be Passionate
I love to be around people who are excited about things that are important to them. Within the first few minutes of your conversation, you know what moves their heart. Every time I am around someone like this, I am truly inspired.
Be Transparent
Some people are like a sealed safe with a six inch steel casing. There is no imagining what lies within them. They may talk a lot, but reveal nothing. It’s difficult to trust and follow such leaders.
Leaders who are transparent have nothing to hide. Their openness allows for people to come close to them and to trust them. These are the leaders one naturally will want to follow.
Be Kind
The generously kind leader opens up the hearts and minds of those they lead. As their kindness opens up the hearts of people, they will have more influence to impact change.
As a young man with numerous flaws, I’ve experienced kindness in amazing ways. It was that kindness that gave me hope to look forward and to move forward.
Be a Learner
The problem with diplomas, certificates, and degrees is that it creates the false assumption that we have completed our studies. It also creates a qualitative divide between formal and informal learning.
Be Innovative
I suppose it’s true that yesterday’s successes can be our greatest hinderance in the future. We need to constantly find new ways to accomplish our mission. This is true for individuals as well as institutions. Once we become resistant to change, we begin on the road to failure.
Be Resolute
There will be plenty of people to oppose you in whatever you set out to do. But you, you must be determined. Know your purpose, and “do what your hand finds to do” on a consistent basis. Be open to ideas and opinions of people, but ultimately you’ve got to listen to the voice within you.
Be a Mentor
As a leader, be consistent in mentoring others. Pour your life into others who will become leaders. Be a resource, guide, and encourager. You should be able to look back and see a trail of leaders who have been impacted by your mentoring. Turn around now. Look back. How many do you see?
As mentioned earlier, these are some of the leadership qualities that I’ve observed in the life of pastor Robert W. May, whom I call “brother May.” I just called him on the phone now to tell him about this article. At various stages in life I’ve called him to let him know the updates. Every time, I’ve been privileged to receive his kindness and blessings. Since 1983, I’ve been blessed to have this mentoring relationship. He and his wife Norma (with the Lord now) were an inspiration to me as they loved and cared for a young confused teenager from the Bronx.
Your Turn
Would you be willing to share about someone in your life that had an inspiring and mentoring relationship? It is your choice if you want to mention that person’s name. Please share briefly in the comments bleow.
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**Book recommendations on various topics I write on are available at my Resources Page
Purchase the book: Living Your Potential
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In the late 1990’s I sensed an urge to write regularly. As a pastor and teacher, I’ve always written sermons, reports, and articles for magazines and academic journals. But this was different. I felt that I needed to express myself and to make a contribution to the church and society.
Blogging provided the means to make that contribution on a regular basis. Although I made an attempt to write a blog in the early 2000’s it was only in 2012 that it became regular. After being healed of a 17 year chronic back pain, and several years of intense inner healing, I began writing weekly.
Here are some things I’ve learned about writing.- Understand that you have a message
It may be true that someone has already written on every subject on the planet. But you are unique and your voice is unique. You have a message that is unique and different from everyone else. Your experiences give you a message of your own. That message deserves to be expressed, and there are people who need to hear it.
- Determine your audience
Be clear who you are writing for. Your message is determined by who you are and what is in your heart. But how you express your message is determined by your audience.
If your audience is primarily a group of believers, you can assume a set of perspectives they have about God, the Bible, and the world. If they are not believers, your approach to writing must be entirely different.- Write daily
Make it a practice to express your thoughts in writing on a daily basis. Even if you only set aside fifteen to thirty minutes, make it daily. You can begin with brief thoughts from your Scripture readings, devotions, and prayer time. Just write a few sentences each day. Another practice is to reflect on your day. What were some of the good experiences, and challenging experiences? What have you learned?
Take some of those thoughts and begin to expand it into a longer article of about 500 words. You may want to do some extra reading on that topic to refine your thoughts. It is good to hear what others are saying. It will add to your understanding and will refine your ideas as well.- Share your writing
There are people who will benefit from your perspective and your words. It is your time to step up to this challenge and share what you have written. Take the shorter thoughts you write and share on Twitter, Facebook, and other social media. Allow that to be a daily encouragement to your friends and family.
Take the longer writing and share it on a blog. I would suggest you post about once per week on your blog. Starting a blog can be done easily on wordpress.com or other sites in just a few minutes. This will provide you with a free option to get you started with your blogging. In this way, you will gradually build an online resource that can be accessed by anyone, anywhere in the world.
If you are serious about your writing and blogging, I would suggested you begin a self-hosted wordpress blog. In this way, you have your own space on the internet without any of the limitations of a free service. You can use your own identity and have more flexibility with a self-hosted blog.- Be yourself – find your voice
As we all have our own ideas about writers, we may be tempted to copy the styles of others. Now I acknowledge that one aspect of learning involves imitating others, but you must move on from that, and move to your own way of writing and expressing yourself. This is your voice.
But finding your own unique voice takes time. For some, it may take several years of regular writing, sharing, and receiving comments. Some say it takes the writing of several books before your true voice emerges. Now, don’t let that discourage you from writing. Just get this clear in your mind: Be yourself, and keep writing. Your unique voice will eventually surface.- Receive comments gracefully
Criticism can be one of the greatest irritations for you and at the same time, it can be an asset. Learn to receive criticism from others with grace. Some may not have a proper way of giving advice, but you certainly can pick out some good things to learn and improve.
- Read more than you write
Every writer must be an avid reader. Develop a constant habit of reading widely. Take topics that are in your field as well as others. Read the writings of those whom you disagree with. You may disagree with their approach, premise, and conclusions, but read them anyway. It may irritate you to your core, but that is a good practice. You will not be swayed by those ideas, but it may help to sharpen who you are.
Maybe you have not thought of yourself as a writer. But this is the time to begin expressing yourself. People are waiting to hear from you. Your thoughts and perspectives are unique. God has placed you here for this purpose of impacting others. Let’s begin using your words.
Here is what you can do now. During your next time of prayer and devotion, write down your reflection regarding what you are facing and what God’s word has to say about it. Just write three or four sentences and form one paragraph. Take that paragraph and post it in the comments below on the blog. Make sure to comment on what another person has written as well. Just click the link below to place your writing in the comments.
*Since 2010, I’ve learned much about writing and communicating from three bloggers: Jeff Goins, Seth Godin, and Michael Hyatt. -
Everyone is impacted by criticism of some sort. But leaders and those who take responsibility in some way are greatly targeted. There is not much we can do to stop or reduce criticism. But there are some things we can learn, and there are ways of protecting ourselves from the negative effects. Here below are seven things I’ve learned about criticism.
1. There is some level of truth in every criticism
It is difficult to acknowledge this, but it is true. The rest may be things conjured up with their misunderstandings, emotions, and whatever baggage they carry along. However, in every criticism that comes your way, find the kernel of truth and learn from it.
2. Verify what you heard or read
Double check the information before you respond. Sometimes you hear it wrong, and sometimes others communicate it incorrectly. Ask for clarification directly to the person who is responsible for the criticism.
3. Give yourself time to cool off
Waiting a day or more to respond is a great way to give yourself time to cool off. This will allow your emotions to step aside and your brain can begin to function again. Time may not heal, but a little time will help you respond better.
4. Separate your emotions from the facts
While you take a day or more to cool off, this is what you can do. Your emotions will put a negative filter on your thinking. Now begin to detect that filter and begin to separate the facts from your emotional reactions.
Unresolved negative experiences from the past will impact your thinking more than you’ll care to admit. Pain, regrets, and unresolved issues are a great hindrance to rational thinking.
5. Know yourself
When you are questioned, and when your integrity is questioned, that is when you also begin to wonder about yourself. Questioning by others can be a deadly time bomb building up the tensions within you.
This is where you need to be sure about yourself. Your self understanding will become one of your greatest assets.
6. Take the meat and leave the bones
Through every criticism, there are some things to learn. As mentioned in our first point, we can surely find some nugget of truth within every criticism.
You will also learn some things through the entire process. Your accuser becomes vividly clear as they aim their offenses at you. You learn some things about yourself that you’ve never realized: your reactions, emotions, defenses, and a variety of internal issues.
7. Forgive
Finally, your best alternative is to forgive your offender. Even if the person has purposefully targeted you, your only reasonable option is to forgive. Not forgiving is an option for unbelievers, but not for those who have been forgiven by Jesus. So, let’s forgive.
Do you have some suggestions to add? Please share in the comments.***Book recommendations on various topics I write on are available at my Resources Page
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For some people, student life was ages ago, and for others, their life revolves around being a student. Recently I sat down and calculated the number of years of my formal education after High School. I’m not going to tell you the numbers, but I think its crazy! Along the way, I’ve learned some things about being a student. Here are my top seven.
1. Know where you're headed
Learning should not be just to get a degree or to attain a status. Set a target of where you want to be in fifteen years. Your studying should be focused on that goal up ahead.
2. Learn the options of how you'll get there
Your learning should be seen as one of the aspects of reaching your target that you want to reach in the future. Maybe this particular course of study is sufficient. Sometimes, you may need to finish this and move on to another degree, or get some experience before moving on to another degree.
3. Get experience while you study
If possible, work part-time within your field while you study. This will surely enhance your educational experience as you are directly applying what you learn as you learn. For some people this may not be an option, but summer vacation could be an option to work or volunteer your time.
4. Learn to be a good learner from other good learners
Now, you may be a good learner getting the good grades, and this point may not be for you. But for the many who are not, this advice is for you. Search out the better learners and find out how they learn. How do they take notes? Observe how they study various topics for assignments and papers. Learn how they compile the material they collect and put them together in a logical order.
5. Focus on the Learning rather than the grades or degrees
Enjoy the learning process. Learning, growing, and developing in each generation is a gift that God has given to the human race. Embrace it, and enjoy it. It is a gift from God.
6. Set your priorities
While you are a student, many things will pull you in different directions. There are many important things to do and to be involved in, but you must set priorities. Focus on your studies and only on things that benefit your studies. Your years as a student are limited. So give the priority it deserves during this time.
7. Respect your teachers
The rate of advancement and growth in each generation is increasing. This means you may be more "advanced" in many things than your teachers. Don't let that cause you to look down on your teachers. You have much to gain from their wisdom and experience. Learn to value their input as an important part of your future.
***Book recommendations on various topics I write on are available at my Resources Page
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Recently, while looking at my first passport, I remembered that my first flight was in 1974. Since then, I’ve done some traveling in every way imaginable (sort of ), including some travel on bullock carts. Here are some things I’ve learned about traveling.
1. When you find a good deal, buy it
Sometimes, you may need to confirm your decision to travel sooner than you would like. Indecisive travel plans cause delays in the booking and bring your price higher. So, decide early, and book early.
2. Check, double-check, and re-check your travel details
Print out your ticket and confirm all your information. Make sure the way your name is written matches the ID you will be carrying with you. Confirm the date and time. A few days early, confirm the day and date of travel. If you are dealing with different time zones, make sure to check on the arrival date and local time.
I have made the mistake of showing up for travel on the wrong date and looked like a fool. I’ve missed flights due to going from one timezone to another, but not realizing the difference in time. Mobile phones have corrected that problem to some extent, but when you travel to other countries, you want to be extra careful.
3. Pack light and don’t fully unpack
The old saying is true: “Less luggage, more comfort.” Find creative ways to mix and match your clothes to reduce your load. Thanks to my tab, Kindle, and phone, I don’t have to carry books and papers like before.
I prefer not to unpack my suitcase fully at the location where I stay. Most of my things stay in my luggage. Its easier to put everything together and confirm that I have everything before I leave.
4. Don’t loot the hotels
Many have a tendency to take soap, toothbrushes, towels, and other convenience items from hotels. These items are simply convenience items for you to use. Emptying the place is not the appropriate thing to do.
5. Be generous
There are many ways of being generous. Smile and talk to people who work make your travel easier. Be less demanding and more understanding. Ask people their names and inquire about their work.
Even if your funds are limited, give tips according to what you can afford. Don’t avoid tipping simply because you have less. When you can, be more generous.
6. Re-confirm your pickup and drop off
Have a clear understanding of who will pick you up and drop you off. Make sure to get names, phone numbers, and any other information so you can communicate. Use email and text to communicate your arrival information. When traveling to different countries, text becomes more important than a phone call. They may not fully understand what you say over the phone, but they can understand your text message.
7. Take good reading material
Use your down time appropriately. Rather than a bother, see it as a blessing. Accept it as a time for reflection and reading. Keep a notebook with you as you read. Write down thoughts as you read. Somehow, the nature of reading changes when you travel. You understand things differently and more clearly. This may be because your mind is free of much of the daily worries that come with your job and other responsibilities.
* Need book recommendations on topics I write on? Visit http://www.barnabas.in/resources
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After growing up in New York City, it has been quite an adventure living in an Asian country for the last 18 years. I think I’ve learned a few things about surviving in a different culture. Some things I’ve expected, and many things have surprised me.
Here are the top seven things I’ve learned about surviving in a different culture:
1. When you think you’ve got the culture figured out, think again.
After several years in a foreign culture, you begin to settle in and get a bit comfortable. The church I pastor has become one of the largest in our small community, and our people seem to connect well with me. But recently a local politician referred to me as “that arrogant man.” Wow! I know I may not be on the top of the humility list, but now I am learning a totally different sub-culture within this culture.
2. Be ready for a disconnected season in your life
Living in a different country disconnects you from your “former” life. Social media, Skype, and Magic Jack has been great, but life is certainly different. After 18 years, I feel disconnected from the culture I grew up in. I’ve had to learn to accept this as a reality and as a price to pay for my calling and commitment.
3. Embrace loneliness gracefully
Loneliness may be common for many leaders, but I’ve found this to be even more prominent when living in a different culture. People see you as a “specimen,” someone to learn from, or someone to learn English from. It’s difficult to develop friendships at a personal level just for the sake of friendship. There are just too many cultural issues and preconceived ideas that block genuine relationships.
4. Don’t try to reason out and understand everything – just accept it.
We tend to evaluate other cultures from the perspective of our own culture and understanding. From that vantage point, nothing may seem to make sense. I’ve now reduced my “Why do you…” type of questions. I’m learning to accept the culture just as it comes — even when it seems to violate some of my strongly held convictions – “gulp.”
5. When others misunderstand you, just smile. You can’t explain everything
My days of explaining myself are over. When I try to explain myself and why I do or think the way I do, I simply see a mist of confusion on their faces. Now I just smile and say something like “I’m glad to be here.”
6. Don’t fear ambiguity. Just trust God
I grew up expecting clarity and simplicity. But I now realize that you just have to let things alone. I’ve asked lots of questions, but many have looked at me compassionately with a look of pity. They say to me “Look, that’s just the way it is.” Now I have learned to say “Oh, I see.”
7. Look at their heart
Ultimately, we must learn to look beyond the external and see their heart. They are genuine and well meaning. They may not follow your rules. They may violate your deeply held values. “But how can I overlook those things that are so important?” Just look at the heart.
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We have come to the final post of our series Four Roles of a Small Group Leader. Now we’ll look at the fourth role, Small Group Leader as Leader. For the rest of the articles in this series, you can search “Small Groups” in the categories on the right hand column of the blog (or below for mobile browsers).
Four Roles of a Small Group Leader (Click to open each article)
1. Facilitator – Meetings
2. Shepherd – Care
3. Mentor – Training
4. Leader – Vision
In the leadership role, one has the great opportunity to pass on vision and give direction to the group. The vision for the small group may be provided by the church which the group is part of. But it is the role of the group leader to take the church’s vision and adapt it to the small group.
There are many things a small group can do. Numerous opportunities will present itself as the group progresses. But your responsibility is to make sure the group stays set on accomplishing its vision through every activity.
Focus
A group whose purpose is clearly expressed will have better focus. Without proper focus the people will quickly lose interest. The purpose and direction of the group needs to be clear and should be articulated clearly on a regular basis. As the leader, people look to you for direction.
Care
For so many people, life is full of struggles. They desperately need a helping hand. Lead the people in caring for each other. Your care for them is important. But when the members of the group care for each other, the benefits are tremendous.
Outreach
Some groups are very good with care. They wholeheartedly care for their members. But they neglect reaching out to others. Groups that become ingrown never last.
For many people, outreach doesn’t come naturally. You need to lead them in doing outreach. Give them the reasons for doing outreach, provide opportunities, and join them in the process.
Being the leader of a small group goes much beyond just leading the weekly meetings. As a leader, you take on the more comprehensive role of providing direction for the group according to the vision you have.
As we conclude this series, here is brief snippet of what we covered:
Four Roles of a Small Group Leader
1. Facilitator – Meetings
As the Facilitator, the leader takes responsibility of the weekly meetings. You lead the group “seamlessly” through the various aspects of the meeting. Ultimately, you hope to see lives changed and friends of each group member come to a relationship with Christ.
2. Shepherd – Care
As a Shepherd, you lead the group to care for each other. This care may include aspects of emotional, spiritual, and physical needs. You are developing a caring community.
3. Mentor – Training
As a Mentor, you come alongside each member as they navigate life. You help them with their spiritual life and be a leader to them in the areas where they need help.
4. Leader – Vision
As a Leader, you have the role of providing direction to the group through proper application of the Vision of the group. Make sure everything the group does will work to accomplish the vision.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this series of posts on leading a Small Group. If this has been beneficial, Please share it with others by using these links below:
Click here to share on Facebook.
Click here to share on Twitter.- Need book recommendations on Small Groups, Coaching, Leadership, and other topics? Get a list of books I recommend at Barnabas.in/resources
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As we continue our series Four Roles of a Small Group Leader, we’ll look at the third role, Small Group Leader as Mentor. For the rest of the articles in this series, you can search “Small Groups” in the categories on the right-hand column of the blog (or below for mobile browsers).
Four Roles of a Small Group Leader
1. Facilitator – Meetings
2. Shepherd – Care
3. Mentor – Training
4. Leader – Vision
As a mentor, the leader focuses on training the members of the group in Life, Spirituality, and Leadership. These are the areas of mentoring that the leader is privileged to impact.
The Leader also goes through a process of mentoring by acting as a coach, encourager, and resource person.
Areas of Mentoring
LIFE
Living life can be a complex challenge for all of us. But if we have someone who can come alongside us, that makes a great difference.
Leaders do not need to be experts on living life. They just need to be an encouraging person who can give perspective and focus. When times get tough (as it often does), leaders can help people to have a better perspective.
You might say that you are not a “life coach” in any sense of the word, but eventually you grow into that role. At least for the people you lead, you have impacted their life tremendously.
SPIRITUALITY
Every area of the person’s life is connected to spirituality. Every decision is in some way impacted by the person’s spiritual dimension.
Small Group leaders may not see themselves as spiritual leaders, but in the long run, the people’s lives are touched and they see you as such. Learn to accept the roles you grow into and begin to purposefully move in that direction.
LEADERSHIP
Knowing the next step and taking people along in that direction is basic to leadership. As you lead a small group, you grow in leadership skills much beyond anything you’ve imagined.
Process of MentoringCOACH
Leaders take the initiative to come alongside each member as their coach. They do not have all the answers, and they are not perfect, but they can walk along with them.
As a coach, help the person to look objectively at their lives. Guide them along to discern things for themselves. Ask “guiding questions” that will help them to have clarity regarding their choices in life.
ENCOURAGER
In the midst of all the discouragement one faces, look for ways to encourage and build up. Be a voice that propels them forward and a flame that ignites them to action.
So many people have desires and dreams that have been dormant for many years. Whenever they shared these with others, they faced discouraging words. You can turn that around with your encouraging words.
RESOURCE PERSON
According to the needs of people, you can be a resource person for those in your group. Don’t respond too quickly or too soon. Listen carefully and hold your response.
Once you have clearly understood their words, their needs, and their goals, you can be a resource person to them. Recommend resources that will help them to accomplish their goals and live out their purpose in life.
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Last week we began a series entitled Four Roles of a Small Group Leader. This is the second post in this series, Small Group Leader as Shepherd. For the rest of the articles, you can search “Small Groups” in the categories on the right hand column of the blog.
Four Roles of a Small Group Leader
1. Facilitator – Meetings
2. Shepherd – Care
3. Mentor – Training
4. Leader – Vision
As a shepherd, the leader ensures that all the members of the group are cared for. In a world where virtual connections are more common than personal connection, the leader needs to take a personal approach.
As we take the necessary steps to care for people, here are three important things to keep in mind.
1. Aspects of care
Without fail, we need to provide care in three important aspects of the person’s life. These areas are vital to the person’s overall health, which affects how one relates to the rest of the group. The person’s emotional, spiritual, and physical needs can be cared for so as to bring balance to the person’s life. Keep in mind that the care that you and the small group gives is not the primary care. There are others in their lives who are to give the primary care, and yours is a supplementary role.
Emotional
Weekly meetings and some contact outside the group meetings will provide some support for the emotions of people. Many are lonely and looking for meaningful connections. The members of the small group can be a means for healthy and meaningful connections.
Spiritual
The spiritual life of each person is both personal and corporate. The motivation to connect with God and His people contribute greatly to the spiritual health of the individual. Outreach done through the Group and individually will be vital to the spiritual development of each member.
Physical
When people go through crisis or when there are some common needs, the Group can reach out in care to provide for the person or members of the group who are in need. Certainly the Small Group cannot provide all the person’s needs, but in special cases where there are urgent needs, people can reach out and help others.
2. Levels of Care
As the Small Group functions as a relational “body,” care can be provided at two levels.
Leader to Member
The leader can take the responsibility to reach out to each member on a weekly basis. This point of contact will be a motivation for the person to reach out to the other members as well. The leader can also interact with the people at a more personal level much beyond the meetings.
Among Members (Mutual care)
When the members relate with each other outside of the weekly meetings, that is a clear indicator of a group that is growing healthy. When needs are shared and mutual care is given, meaningful relationships are enhanced.
3. Medium of care
In order of importance, here are some ways to care for people. Try to do at least one of these each week.
Personal Visit
This may be the most difficult one to pull off, and the most meaningful one too. The personal visit could be at their workplace during their break times (if that is appropriate) or to their home.
Phone Call
I see this as a great approach. If I can’t get through, I make sure to leave a brief voicemail if possible.
Email, text message, and other means of communication can also work, but I prefer the phone call whenever possible.
The leader as the Shepherd provides care, but more importantly ensures that care is given. In other words, make sure to develop a culture of mutual care among the members. Of Course, this begins with the leader.
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Small Group Leader as Facilitator
I am convinced that anyone can lead a small group. At least anyone can begin the process, and then, they can “grow into” the role they have taken up. It’s not advisable to get someone “fully” trained before starting a group. Many get discouraged and may not continue with the process. Rather, as they catch the vision, they just need to make a commitment and begin.
John Wimber once said that we have commonly used the analogy “Ready, Aim, Shoot.” But he said that we need to modify that and say “Ready, Shoot, Aim.” Get the person ready at a basic level, and begin. Then work on fine-tuning the process.
So as you get ready to lead a small group, here are four areas where you can develop your skills. You “grow into” these four roles as you lead your group. We’ll look at each one of these roles in the next few weeks, beginning with the first one this week.
Four Roles of a Small Group Leader
1. Facilitator – Meetings
2. Shepherd – Care
3. Mentor – Training
4. Leader – Vision
FACILITATE SMALL GROUP MEETINGS
The weekly meetings are only one aspect of the entire Small Group experience. We will look at the other aspects in the following weeks. Yet these meetings are vital since this is the regular time when the members gather together.
Here are some things to remember as you facilitate the meetings
1. Venue
Make personal connection with the host family. Since their home is being used as the venue for the Small Group meetings, it is important that they have completely bought in to the vision of the group and your church. If this is not the case, and they are unsure about the church, the group, or their faith, then that is a recipe for disaster.
They don’t need to be perfect people. They will have problems like everyone else. They must be accepted as they are. They just need to have a heart that is hospitable to have people in their home. Otherwise, they will always be unhappy and that will show. Ultimately, people will stop coming to a group meeting if the host family is not hospitable.
The home doesn’t have to be perfect. You need a home sn’t need to be perfect. It needs to be “functional” enough for you to gather every week. Accessibility of the home as people travel, space in the living room, and other logistical things are important, but above all, the welcoming attitude of the host family is most important.
2. Agenda
You may have a suggested agenda given to you by your local church, and that is fine. Generally,
here is a good suggested pattern:
- Welcome (Icebreaker, small talk, coffee, snacks)
- Worship (Get intimate with God as you reflect on his goodness)
- Word (Start with real life issues, and move to the Word, and apply it to life)
- Wind (Take time to allow the Holy Spirit to minister to the group members)*
As the Facilitator, it is your responsibility to guide the meeting seamlessly through these four agendas. There is no need to announce that you are going to the next item on the agenda. Make smooth transitions. Let the people experience each one.
3. Discussion
In the agenda above, I’ve given the term “Word” for the discussion time. You may wish to do a “Bible Study” based on a book of the Bible. But make sure to begin each discussion with a “life issue” that the people can connect with.
The better option is to do a series of discussions based on various aspects of life that people in your group may face. Let those life situations be the beginning point for your discussions. Then, you move them on to the Word of God, and finish the discussion by applying it to life.
4. Ministry
In the “Wind” part of the meeting, make sure you allow the Holy Spirit to take the lead as you pray for people. Learn to listen to the voice of the Spirit. You will be surprised what God will do when you listen and allow Him to “lead” your prayer time.
As the Facilitator, find out what the needs of the members are. Allow the members to minister to each other. Lay hands on the sick and pray for their healing. For training on praying for healing, click here.
5. Communication
As the group gathers together in the meetings, their relationships begin to develop. But it is vital to take these connections beyond the group meetings.
Here are two ways to accomplish this.
- Make sure that you connect with each member weekly. The best option is to pick up the phone and make a call directly to each member. If that call doesn’t go through, then leave a voice message, email, or some type of message that the person uses.
- Encourage each person in the group to connect with each other. The relationships between the members outside of the meetings can be a meaningful way of caring for each other.
In this digital age, we simply message each other as if that is sufficient. Yes, that certainly communicates information, but falls short of personal connection. Make it personal.
As the Facilitator, I encourage you to “grow” in each of these five areas. Let it be gradual. Work on these aspects each week. For more resources on small groups, click here.
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*Thanks to Jim Egli for the label “Wind” for the ministry time (www.jimegli.com). Jim has great resources for Small Groups on his site.
yourBarnabas.com 