Reaching Out in Distress

Remember these posts? “Feeling lonely,” “Feeling depressed, angry, gloomy…” These posts on social media are often followed by responses from readers with sympathetic words. The list of responses are often quite long. Do these words have any lasting impact? Is the person’s condition improved by the words offered by sympathetic fingers as they type away on their keyboards or phones?

It’s healthy to have friends you can turn to in times of deep sorrow. But turn to God first. He will strengthen your heart with his Spirit, and enlighten your mind with His perspective. Your friends will give you advice based on their perspective which may come from their own brokenness.

God is Waiting for You

When the people of Israel experienced extreme suffering, they refused to turn to God. He commented about their condition and said: "They do not cry to me from the heart, but they wail upon their beds; for grain and wine they gash themselves; they rebel against me" (Hos 7:14).

It seems we turn everywhere else but to God. Israelites did that too. But God is waiting for you to reach out to Him in your distress. He will be your strength when you have none left.

Skip the Social Media and Friends

You need the encouragement and companionship of friends, but they must come second. Allow God to impact your heart and mind before anyone else does. When the struggles of life cause you to cry out in pain, bypass your friends and social media and go directly to God. He is ready to help, and he is waiting. Will you go to him first?

When you turn to God first, He will impact your thinking about your situation. When you approach your friends, each of them will have their own ideas based on their hang ups. On social media, you'll get advice that spans the entire spectrum with no limits. So give God your first priority and allow Him to direct you.

“You? You won’t amount to much.” “Since you’re a poor student, you won’t be able to do much with your life.” “Are you sure you can handle that? You’re too skinny.” “Isn’t that motorcycle too big for you?” Those words and others similar to that pierced deep into my being. I never thought much of it through the years, but several years ago I began to understand the extent of the damage.

The Trap

The constant onslaught of negative comments with little or no positives have an impact much beyond what we can imagine. The pain of negative words continue for some time, but after a while, the pain goes away. The pain is replaced by a certain numbness to those situations and negative words. But the roots of negativity go deep and continue to influence the person all through life.

These roots cause various problems in different people. Some deal with a constant sense of inability to make decisions. Low self esteem becomes the guiding principle underneath this person’s behaviours. Fear of being rejected by others will cause them to cave in and not excel in most things they do in life.

This person may have some dreams, but they never expresses those dreams. They cannot imagine that their dreams can ever be fulfilled. Thus they never take the steps necessary to live out those dreams. Its a trap that keeps them from moving forward.

The Turn

For such a person, the change will come only with a dramatic impact through personal experiences, or a divine intervention. Sometimes, colleagues and friends take an interest in the person and help them to refocus.

But refocus is too simple of a word for someone who has been conditioned by decades of thinking that they can’t live their dream. Their past failures also attest to this negative concept that has held them back.

In essence the mind has to be reconditioned to think differently. Negative thoughts need to be replaced by positives. Thoughts of failures must be replaced by dreams about life and how there is hope for the future.

Most of all, come to grips with the reality of  negative influences. Acknowledge the damage that has been done to your thought processes. Then make a decision that by God’s help, you will be able to reverse the negative effects into positives.

Trust that God believes in you and has your best interest in mind. Oh, you’ve always known that, but you’ve never accepted that for yourself. It was a reality for others and not for yourself. But God wants to do this in you. He has an awesome dream for you and wants you to live it out.

So, acknowledge the negative effects of the past and understand that God’s dreams for you can be lived out. Daily, pray and commit yourself to God’s dream for you. Allow your thinking to be transformed and subsequently, your words and actions will begin to change. With God’s help, you will think His way and begin to live differently and confidently.

More sure of yourself

Once you understand yourself from God’s perspective, you will see yourself differently. Your timid and fearful nature will begin to gradually change to confidence. This gradual shift to confidence will be a great asset.

When you are more sure of yourself, you can dream God’s dreams. Big dreams. Your thinking begins to expand and the horizon, the future, looks entirely different. New possibilities begin to appear in your mind like never before.

Initially you may suppress these dreams because you have been conditioned to think less of yourself. But as the transformation progresses, you become more sure of yourself. This feeling of confidence will be uneasy to you at first as you feel unworthy of such thoughts. Just allow God to work within you and replace the negative thoughts with His thoughts, GOD size thoughts. You will notice yourself becoming more sure of yourself.

More assertive

Eventually the confidence within you will express itself outwardly. In your interpersonal relationships, you’ll be more assertive than ever before. You will notice the growing assertiveness and may want to pull back because of your years of negative conditioning. But now, God is working in you a conditioning that is different from the past.

Others will notice your new level of assertiveness. Especially when you have never behaved like this before. Your bold steps and words will be noticed by others.

I believe the greatest impact of your assertiveness will be in your performance. You continue to do the same work you’ve always done, but now, everything changes. Once your attitude changes from fear to confidence, and you begin to be more assertive, you will see greater results. Get ready for a change in your direction and future.

You don’t have to give in to the ideas and whims of others. You can listen to God’s voice and move forward; bold and assertive.

Quiet trust

The confidence and assertiveness you sense must not be just a general sense of positive thinking. A clear trust in God and his dreams for your life needs to be the foundation. God’s dreams are the fuel behind your confidence and assertiveness.

You are replacing fear and timidity that has controlled your thoughts and actions most of your life. This can be done only with a quiet trust in God. He will live His dreams through your life.

You’ve not had much trust in yourself and your abilities, but now you replace that with a trust in God.

Getting up early in the morning has not been easy for me. But this is something that I’ve struggled with, and practiced since my teenage years. This practice still remains a challenge for me as the mornings are not easy.

So if it’s been such a challenge, why continue to struggle? I have found that the early morning hours are the most productive and refreshing time for reading, prayer, and meditation. These functions can be done any time of the day, but I found the mornings are the best.

During my years of struggling to be an early riser, I’ve learned some important lessons that have helped me. Here are three most important steps.

1. Plan your evenings

In the later part of the evening, avoid activities that provide too much mental and eye strain. Avoid the computer screen and all other devices as much as you can. The extra strain will make it harder to fall asleep, and has an effect on the quality of your sleep.

A good activity before sleeping might be to read a book. Paper books are best since they are easier on the eyes. Although I use eBooks a lot, I prefer to use the Kindle device without backlight. It seems to give a view that is softer and easier on the eyes.

Avoid coffee, tea, and other caffeinated drinks in the evening that may hinder your sleep. Any kind of snacks and drinks with sugar can also be avoided in the late evenings.

All of these factors help you to sleep quicker and sleep better so you can get up at an early hour of the morning.

2. Plan your mornings

When my alarm goes off at 4am, I am hardly ever in the mood to wake up. But its somewhat of a mental “game” for me to go through several of my morning routines before deciding if I need more sleep.

Usually after those routines, and washing my face with soap, I begin to feel much better. But I tell myself that if I still don’t feel right, I can opt to return to sleep. This gets me up with the option of going back to sleep if its a must.

I also plan out my morning routine as well. I place my Bible, notebook, pen, and other things I might need at the right place. In the evening, I set up that “area” for me to sit and pray, read, and meditate. This adds to the expectation in my mind to get up since I’ve done some preparation in advance.

3. Plan your rewards

Set up some rewards for yourself as you go through the hassle of getting up in the morning. For people like me, its the inviting smell of freshly brewed coffee and its taste that acts as a worthwhile reward.

For those in colder temperatures, its that cozy feeling of wrapping something warm around you as you sit on the couch. Now for us who live near the equator, that means nothing at all.

I believe the best reward for me is to have a personal, one to one time with my Lord who called me and sustains me every day. Its the joy, delight, and expectation of hearing His voice each morning as I sit at His feet.

So, take these things to heart and make a bold attempt this week to get up earlier than your regular wake up time. Earnestly try the above steps during the next few days and weeks. Then, let me know how it went. Come back to this post and leave a comment about your experience. You’ll surely find this a rewarding time.