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Is It Misfortune or Simply a Complete Mess Up?

February 17th, 2013

Jack* was a man we ministered to over twenty three years ago. He was constantly in and out of jail for various crimes. He lived with his mother and tried to take care of her (whenever he was not in jail). Each time he came out of jail or out of some major trouble with the law, he would call and we would get together and talk. I would pray intently for him and he would cry as the Holy Spirit came over him bringing conviction. He badly wanted to overcome his drug and alcohol habits which were the ultimate things that separated him and his wife. He wished he could watch his children grow up through each stage in life. But with his numerous addictions, that just wasn’t possible.

Getting a job also seemed impossible for him. Seeing his blood-shot eyes and piercing gaze would put fear in most people, much less give him a job. Long gaps in his work history gave way to questions he struggled to answer. But eventually he would tell of his prison sentence – and thus the end of the interview and opportunity for the job as well.

It still remains a challenge for me to know how to deal with such people who struggle to get a basic grip on life. We know what they really need – complete freedom from their addictions and a lasting stability. But that’s what they’ve wanted all these years. And that’s what we’ve been trying to help them with as well. But how do we get them from here to there?

The hindrances for these people are numerous. They are often interconnected with a circle of friends whose basic paradigm of life revolves around escaping the troubles of life. Time and time again they struggle to make meaning of their lives. But with a lack of hope and meaning, they gravitate towards others with a similar perspective on life.

But “shouldn’t they just get their act together like everyone else?” First of all, I’m not sure how many of us really have our “act together.” Often, the primary difference between those who struggle with addictions and those who don’t may not be much. My response to problems may be the type that can easily be hidden from others. But for these, their response becomes visible for everyone to see.

We need to adopt the basic understanding that we are all on a journey through life. As a fellow traveler, we need to be patient and understanding towards those who struggle with various addictions. That understanding will be the first step towards healing.

No one is too far gone for God to reach them and to transform their lives. There is always hope. With sufficient regular support and backup, they can overcome their addictions.

Yes, I have seen the occasional miraculous transformation where the power of God does an immediate and complete work. And the person is completely delivered from their addictions. But often, the need is great for an understanding community that will walk with this person to complete freedom.

*Name changed for privacy

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Want Evidence for a Great Future?

February 10th, 2013

Which are the dreams in your life that have never been fulfilled? Maybe they are promises of God that have never become a reality. Those promises also became your dream as well. But somehow, life seems to have led you in a different path.

After reaching a certain age, you have concluded that some of these dreams are no longer possible. You know that there is no way for circumstances to be reversed so that your dreams can be fulfilled.

Abraham was a man who faced an unfulfilled dream all his life. God called Abraham to go to the land that he would show to him. When he arrived in that land, God indicated to him that this is the land that will be given to him and his descendants. But they lived like foreigners in that land that was to be their own.

Several ancestors are mentioned in Hebrews 11 who lived with what seems to be unfulfilled promises.

“These all died in faith, not having received the things promised, but having seen them and greeted them from afar, and having acknowledged that they were strangers and exiles on the earth. For people who speak thus make it clear that they are seeking a homeland. If they had been thinking of that land from which they had gone out, they would have had opportunity to return. But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared for them a city.” (Hebrews 11:13-16 ESV)

So, instead of fulfilled dreams, all you have is a mess. There are certain important aspects of your life where you expected progress, but all you see is brokenness, a mess.

When God called Abraham, his entire life changed because his focus changed. He set out for something greater than what his life could offer. Yes, he continued to live his life on this earth, but his ultimate aim was something greater, something beyond. That’s why he left the land of his ancestry. That’s why he was willing to sacrifice his only son.

Instead of complaining and pouting, try Abraham’s method. Keep looking forward to the better future that God has for you in his presence. Allow the struggles of this life to point you to that great future God has for you. Let it constantly remind you that this life is not the ultimate reality. But that there is an awesome future waiting for you in God’s presence.

Do you have the assurance of this great future with God? If you are not completely sure, I have a special message for you here at this link.

So, what is your evidence for a great future? Share it here in the comments section.

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How You Benefit From God's Unfairness

February 1st, 2013

I was in my late teens as I stood before the judge that day. His words were very clear and spoken directly as he looked me in the eyes: “Young man, you were caught on the radar violating the school zone speed limit by 40 miles per hour! What do you have to say for yourself?”

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I stood there like a wet puppy wondering what to say—maybe I should have borrowed the money and paid the hefty fine. I could have avoided this humiliation before all these people. Then I replied, “your honor, I just didn’t notice that it was a school zone. I’m sorry, it was not a deliberate act on my part to violate the law.” The reply from the judge came quickly: “young man, are you trying to tell me that you did not see those brightly colored boards and flashing lights? That’s absurd.” After that, I was at a loss for words as I stammered and said “sir, I was in a hurry trying to get to work after my classes. Maybe my mind was not entirely on the road.” Then the judge sat there just shuffling papers and scribbling some notes. I stood there shuffling my feet and wondering what will happen next. Then again he caught my eyes and with a look of frustration he said “you can go now. Let’s see what can be done.”

As I stepped out of the courtroom, a policeman directed me down the hallway to a desk. The lady at the desk asked my name and told me the amount I was to pay. To my surprise it was less than half of the original fine! I walked out of that court feeling much lighter than when I walked in. That lady’s voice continued to ring in my ears. I still couldn’t believe it. I was clearly guilty, yet I walked out of there paying less than half of what I owed.

On my way back, I wondered what that judge must have been thinking. Maybe he was thinking “oh, here’s another teenager who thinks he owns the road when he gets behind the steering wheel.” Maybe he felt sorry for me? But I didn’t tell him about my financial situation. I didn’t tell him that I was working during the nights to pay my college expenses and barely making it. But the look on his face tells me that he must have know much more than I told him. I did not ask him to reduce the amount since I knew I was guilty. But he reduced it anyway.

I love the words of Job “…know then that God exacts of you less than your guilt deserves” (Job 11:6c ESV). I knew that I was guilty even though I didn’t recognize that school zone. I had no idea that the judge would reduce my fine so much. I simply thought I should try. Our God is much more merciful than we can imagine. When we come before God and admit our guilt, he forgives and restores us to a proper relationship with him.

Maybe you don’t have a relationship with God, or you don’t know what that means. I have a clear explanation for you at this link. For us, the difference is that the judge is our merciful savior. He made the provision for our pardon even before we ask him.

So, go ahead – go to the merciful Judge. He’s not really fair regarding your sins, so he’ll forgive you.

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Cornered by God

January 27th, 2013

What is that one thing that irritates you beyond all limits? I mean really, it gets under your skin and troubles you. You just can’t shake it off. You’ve tried, made decisions, made confessions, and even begged God, but this one thing does not change at all.

Maybe its something regarding your behavior or certain habits that just don’t seem to go away. Or it maybe its that relationship that is so difficult. It could be the job or the career that you’ve selected. You jumped into it years ago for various reasons, but now it seems just meaningless.

You need to identify that one thing. Oh, yes, for some of you, there is no need to try to identify it. It just has a huge place in your daily life that you can’t miss it. It’s just right in your face all the time.

You wonder if God doesn’t care, if he is not at all concerned about your struggles. Sometimes you wonder if God did it! Maybe he is the one who brought you into this mess and caused all this brokenness in your life. You are in this situation because you decided to obey him and to follow his ways.

Ultimately you feel cornered, with no place to turn. You have tried to “change” the people around you, but you realize that its impossible. Then you recognize that the problem lies with you. You are the one who needs to change. But you have come to the realization that you can’t change yourself either. Yes, you realize that you surely are cornered. Maybe cornered by God, but surely cornered by your own brokenness.

This utter helplessness and brokenness you feel is the very reason Jesus died on the cross. Whether this situation was caused by your sin or the result of the actions of others, the cross is the only answer. But then, you may feel that God is the cause for your plight, and you just can’t make sense of the situation you are in. Still, the answer is the cross. Go to him and ask him to help you sort out this entire mess you are in. He will enlighten your mind and soothe your emotions.

So, what is that one thing that disturbs you the most? I don’t believe you can make any sense of the situation by thinking it through. Just go “to the foot of the cross” with all your brokenness. He will place his hands on you. Everything still may not make any sense, but his presence will be enough.

It is difficult to describe the experience of calmness in the midst of the storm. But that is exactly what you will feel. The Holy Spirit will fill you with the realization that God is surely in control of everything in your life that you have no control over.

So, do you still feel cornered by God? Job did too. Listen to his lament: “Yet these thing you hid in your heart; I know that this was your purpose. If I sin, you watch me and do not acquit me of my iniquity. If I am guilty, woe to me! If I am in the right, I cannot lift up my head, for I am filled with disgrace and look on my affliction. And were my head lifted up, you would hunt me down like a lion and work wonders against me. You renew your witnesses against me and increase your vexation towards me; you bring fresh troops against me (Job 10:13-17 ESV).

Do you have a lament to share?

You can express that in the comments here.

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Guilt and Innocence

January 19th, 2013

I was just nine years old as I stood on an over-pass above the highway throwing empty beer cans into the highway. Some of the cans bounced off the cars and then was crushed by other vehicles that followed. Other cans I threw fell right in front of the cars and was immediately crushed. Some just fell between the wheels and was only crushed several cars later as the wind blew the cans around. After throwing each can I stood there intently watching its movements until it was finally crushed.

It was a fun and exhilarating experience for me as I threw each can over the fence until a man walked by who started yelling at me. He said something about damaging the cars and what a nuisance kids are these days. I remember as I heard that man’s voice, I had two objections to his reaction. First, I did not see any damage to the vehicles as the beer cans bounced off the vehicles. Those vehicles just simply drove on. Second, he used the word “kids” in plural. There was no one else with me as I accomplished this task. After some more yelling the man just walked away after giving me a warning. Then I threw one more can and ran in the other direction as I saw that man turning around to me.

Maybe I was just a product of my environment growing up in the Bronx. As that man spoke to me, I just couldn’t understand what all the fuss was about. As much as I could see, I was not doing any damage at all. Yet that man seemed to be so irritated.

There was a man in the Bible who was quite righteous in his ways. This was attested by God and he surely thought well of himself. But in his most gruesome situation, he had second thoughts and said: “Though I am in the right, my own mouth would condemn me; though I am blameless, he would prove me perverse” (Job 9:20 ESV). In his own mind he seemed to be blameless, but in light of the holiness of God, he realized that he had no chance.

Just like my experience at the age of nine, we simply don’t recognize our own sinfulness. Through the years, we become “acceptable” to most people, and those are the people we spend most of our time with. Thus we loose that critical element in our relationships and we are not able to recognize our own faults.

Among many things, there are two factors that help us to have that critical element. Involvement in small groups, and meditation of the Bible. In a small group based on relationships, the chances are greater for the rough edges in our personalities to begin to rub against each other. This will result in some form conflict that eventually needs to be resolved within the small group experience. In a loving and accepting group, one has the freedom to open up and share weaknesses. Along with this, a daily reading and meditation of the Bible has great value. While we read, meditate, and pray, the Holy Spirit has the opportunity to work within us. He will highlight and convict us regarding those things that needs correction.

We may be innocent in our own eyes, but before God, we stand guilty.

So, do you have any stories of “innocence” to share?

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Has Life Broken You?

January 12th, 2013

While I was a college student I took classes in Psychology as well as counselling. In one of those classes, we had to do a test to analyze our emotional and mental temperament. There was a questionnaire with lots of topics and a list of life experiences for which each experience was given a number according to its intensity. The purpose was to grade the effect of difficult life experiences on an individual. When I filled up that page at the age of 20, the totals were quite large. According to those numbers I should have been an emotional wreck many times over.

Through the years I remembered that test many times. Especially when I experienced excruciating pain as a result of the pressures in life. For a long time that pain was emotional, then for about seventeen years it became increasingly physical.

The emotional pain was mostly ignored due to a strong will that allowed me to move on. I was aware of that pain, but I never allowed it to inhibit me in any way. When the pain became physical, I was still able to ignore it until I was bedridden. Now that changed everything. Every movement of my body caused me excruciating pain.

It was in my late teens that I heard the saying: “Life is not out to break you but to make you.” This statement has helped me tremendously over the ears as I faced numerous struggles in life. I would remember the words of Jesus: “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33 ESV)

When the pain became physical and I was bed-ridden for months at a time, I began to question my own perspectives. “Maybe life is out to break me, not to make me.” I helped so many others to find hope, but I ended up in a hopeless situation.

Through numerous tragedies in her life, Lee Ezell in her book, Finding Hope When Life’s Not Fair, says: “…it may be way too early to judge whether or not this catastrophe in your life will ultimately be devastating. Perhaps you will soon see how God is working it into His plan for you! Both the good and the bad may be woven together into the beautiful tapestry of our life.”

So what if you think life is out to break you, not make you? Remember that Jesus has overcome the world and he offers us his peace. If you can wait long enough, he works it out in our lives so that it becomes something beautiful in his eyes, either here on earth or beyond.

How have you handled your situations where you felt that life is out to break you, not make you? Do you have suggestions for others in the same situation?

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A Surprising View of Leadership Development

December 26th, 2012

Jesus only spent three and a half years with his disciples. He developed them and trained them to do the tasks he did. After his departure they were to carry on the work through the power of the Holy Spirit. Jesus had complete trust in the Holy Spirit to guide his disciples.

In my years of teaching in a seminary and pastoring, I have been involved in training and developing people for ministry. This, I have found to be quite a challenging task as the people come from various backgrounds.

There is often a huge gap between my expectations and theirs. When tasks are assigned, and goals are set, I remind myself that my expectations may not always be met. Their growth and development as leaders may be well below my ideal for them. I know they could do better.

Jesus expressed a similar frustration when he said “O faithless and twisted generation, how long am I to be with you…” (Matthew 17:17 ESV). Jesus knew that his time with the disciples was limited, so he wanted to make sure they were prepared to carry on the work he began. But the performance and the responses of the disciples were certainly not according to his expectations.

In such a disheartening situation, Jesus expressed unwavering trust in the Holy Spirit and his disciples. He told his disciples that they will do the works that he did, and even greater things will be accomplished through them (John 14:12 ESV). Then he promises them the Holy Spirit who would remain with them forever (John 14:16 ESV). He also said that the Holy Spirit will teach them and remind them of the things that Jesus taught them (John 14:26 ESV).

These words of Jesus were not a blind “shot in the dark” just to give them a positive feeling. Rather it was a definite trust in the Holy Spirit to teach, empower, and guide the disciples. Jesus completed the task, and now it was up to the Holy Spirit to carry them further.

Jesus’ approach to training the disciples was expressed systematically by John Maxwell in his book Developing The Leaders Around You. He gave a clear five step approach: Model, Mentor, monitor, motivate and multiply. Jesus initially modeled the tasks while the disciples observed. Then he mentored them and taught them what to do. Then Jesus monitored their performance and asked questions regarding their experiences. He also provided motivation for them to do the tasks on their own by sending them out two by two to all the villages and towns that Jesus would visit. Finally he asked them to multiply themselves by making disciples.

What a great approach and an awesome trust in the Holy Spirit and the disciples. So those of you who are in the process of developing leaders, we have an important lesson to learn from Jesus’ attitude towards leadership development: Relax and trust the Holy Spirit.

Tell us about your leadership development experiences.

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What Are You "Made" For?

December 22nd, 2012

There was an elderly couple in our church who were in their mid eighties. Once I asked this gentleman how he is doing physically, and how he gets around town. His reply caught my attention: “Physically I am fine. If I need to go somewhere close, I walk. Otherwise I ride my bicycle.” At that time our church met on the second floor of a hotel, and he refused to take the elevator (lift). He also would not allow anyone to help him down the stairs. He was determined to go up and down the stairs alone, without any assistance.

I appreciated his bravery and resoluteness In fact, even after his wife died, he lived alone in the house till the end. He was determined that he should not be a burden to anyone in his later years. When asked about physical ailments, pain, and other challenges, his response was resolute. “Yes, the challenges are there, but I can’t dwell on those things. I’ve got to move on.”

His wife had similar characteristics as well. Even while she battled cancer, she was determined to remain standing during the entire worship time. It was her own way of expressing her heart’s gratitude to what God has done in her family through the years.

Growing older doesn’t have to be a scary and difficult situation. Sure, as you move up in years, you’ll have more physical limitations. But instead of being discouraged, it should be a time to re-focus your approach.

Several years ago I wrote a blog post called Has Life Begun? I had just turned forty that day, and wanted to share some of my thoughts. The most significant idea for me was that I wanted to focus my time and energy on things I am “made” for. The idea is to focus on the core of what you do, the most essential matters only. Let all other things have a secondary status.

When you try to do everything as before, the situation becomes problematic. You just may not have the energy or stamina as in your earlier years. Make your goals more realistic with the primary focus on the essentials. These essentials are in effect what you are “made” for.

All the experiences you’ve had over the years have built you and prepared you for the important task of focusing on your essentials. Now, it is time to narrow your focus and put in your best. Your later years can be the most strategic and productive.

What are the things you feel you are “made” for?

Please leave your comments here.

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The Risk of Kindness

December 17th, 2012

I heard about a man who has a special place in his heart for beggars. He once asked a beggar on the street his name. The reply of the beggar was: “Name? I don’t have a name.” When I heard that, I was utterly astonished. A human being without a name? I’ve never heard nor imagined such a situation. Most probably he was born on the streets and was handed off to someone to use as a begging “tool.” Beyond that he had no value as a person.

When we see a person begging on the streets, our reactions may vary. We are unsure if we want to take the “risk” of talking to them. Even if we have been kind to them in the past, our response may depend on the emotional situation we are in. Most people ignore them and hope they would go away. But as we ignore them we feel a sense of guilt and uneasiness.

As we look at them we realize that many are physically fit and capable of holding a job that would sustain them and their families. Surely someone could give them a job and help them to get on their feet. But of course that someone cannot be me. I’m just too busy. Maybe someone else.

Some have deformed limbs and other shocking deformities. We have heard stories about those who intentionally “deform” or damage the limbs of small children to make them more “marketable.” That is hard to imagine and certainly hard to believe. Certain situations and utter hopelessness can drive people to do the unthinkable. But who knows?

When I was a college student, I used one of my vacations to try to personally understand the plight of these people. I spent a month and lived in a “rescue mission” that reached out to the homeless. It was a tremendous risk for me as I became one of “them.” Living with them as one of them brought a new sense of awareness in me. These were all real people with real life situations as you and I. But life just got to be too much for them. They did not have any hope that things could get better. Debts, job loss, death of a major wage earner, drug addiction, alcoholism, and other debilitating situations just drove them to the streets. As I interacted with them as their “equal,” their hearts really opened up and I was able to see them as a real person just like me.

A clear picture of street people and a clear analysis has been given by Roger S. Greenaway in the book Cities: Missions’ New Frontier. He gives a clear analysis and suggestions for reaching out to homeless and street people. After reading that chapter or other such material, think about what you can do. What about your family or the church? What steps can you take?

Maybe you can begin by treating them kindly. Take that risk of kindness. Ask their name. That interaction with them will really help to change our minds as well. Then certainly ask if you can pray for them – but whatever you do, make sure to reach into your pocket as well. Be merciful as your heavenly father is merciful. God has a special place in his heart for the poor.

What kind of experiences have you had in dealing with such people?

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What's The Use of Discipline Anyway?

December 9th, 2012

Painful, confusing, and frustrating are three words we would use to describe discipline. The difficult circumstance we are in often causes severe pain. We want to hear from God and get some clear direction or clarity regarding our situation, but nothing seems to make any sense. Everything seems confusing. But all of these struggles just don’t seem to match up with our expectations and dreams about how our life should be. So we end up with lots of frustration. Sometimes it seems to be a never ending cycle of pain, confusion, and frustration.

But the Bible seems to describe such situations as “discipline.” But whatever label we put on it, that doesn’t make our situation more bearable. The Pain remains, leading to further confusion and a heightened level of frustration.

Somehow we’ve got to see God’s purpose in all of this. It’s like the individual strokes of the artist’s brush. To most observers, each stroke by itself would make no sense at all, but in the mind of the artist, there is a beautiful image that he is working towards. In a similar way our pain stands in the way of knowing that the artist is aiming toward a goal.

We have numerous expectations of how our life should be. But God has his own plans. It really takes a lot of work disciplining us to get us to his Goal. We fail to realize that his plans for us are the best and that it really is for our own good.

But when we experience all this pain, confusion and frustration, we wonder if it is worth it. Our emotions impact our ability to think logically. Years ago Andre Crouch wrote the song Through it all, through it all, I’ve learned to trust in Jesus, I’ve learned to trust in God. Will we learn the lessons that God has for us? Will we learn to trust him? Will we grow in his plans for us? Or will we fight it till the end and stay in our current situation? God wants to take us to another level in our maturity as well as our relationship with him. But that only happens as we learn to be quiet before him as he teaches us his ways.

In what ways has God disciplined you? What has been the outcome of his discipline in your life?

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