After growing up in New York City, it has been quite an adventure living in an Asian country for the last 18 years. I think I’ve learned a few things about surviving in a different culture. Some things I’ve expected, and many things have surprised me.

Here are the top seven things I’ve learned about surviving in a different culture:
1. When you think you’ve got the culture figured out, think again.
After several years in a foreign culture, you begin to settle in and get a bit comfortable. The church I pastor has become one of the largest in our small community, and our people seem to connect well with me. But recently a local politician referred to me as “that arrogant man.” Wow! I know I may not be on the top of the humility list, but now I am learning a totally different sub-culture within this culture.
2. Be ready for a disconnected season in your life
Living in a different country disconnects you from your “former” life. Social media, Skype, and Magic Jack has been great, but life is certainly different. After 18 years, I feel disconnected from the culture I grew up in. I’ve had to learn to accept this as a reality and as a price to pay for my calling and commitment.
3. Embrace loneliness gracefully
Loneliness may be common for many leaders, but I’ve found this to be even more prominent when living in a different culture. People see you as a “specimen,” someone to learn from, or someone to learn English from. It’s difficult to develop friendships at a personal level just for the sake of friendship. There are just too many cultural issues and preconceived ideas that block genuine relationships.
4. Don’t try to reason out and understand everything – just accept it.
We tend to evaluate other cultures from the perspective of our own culture and understanding. From that vantage point, nothing may seem to make sense. I’ve now reduced my “Why do you…” type of questions. I’m learning to accept the culture just as it comes — even when it seems to violate some of my strongly held convictions – “gulp.”
5. When others misunderstand you, just smile. You can’t explain everything
My days of explaining myself are over. When I try to explain myself and why I do or think the way I do, I simply see a mist of confusion on their faces. Now I just smile and say something like “I’m glad to be here.”
6. Don’t fear ambiguity. Just trust God
I grew up expecting clarity and simplicity. But I now realize that you just have to let things alone. I’ve asked lots of questions, but many have looked at me compassionately with a look of pity. They say to me “Look, that’s just the way it is.” Now I have learned to say “Oh, I see.”
7. Look at their heart
Ultimately, we must learn to look beyond the external and see their heart. They are genuine and well meaning. They may not follow your rules. They may violate your deeply held values. “But how can I overlook those things that are so important?” Just look at the heart.
 

You know what needs to be done, and you know the best approach. As a leader, you know the next step. For your home, you know what needs to be done. For your children, you know the best approach, and you know how to direct them.

When Your Plans are Shattered

But things have changed now. Your situation just won’t allow you to move according to your plan. Your ideal is shattered. Your plans are thwarted. What you thought to be your best option has become your worst.

Now you look back on your life and wonder how things ended up like this. Your possibilities have been reduced to practically nothing. It's impossible for you to accomplish anything with your life as it is.

When Your Best is Reduced

Gideon was ready with an army of 32,000. He was ready to defeat the Midianite army that was too strong for them. He knew his military needs to be large and strong to fight such an army.

But God determined that his army of 32,000 was too large and needed to be resized. The size was reduced to 300 – practically nothing. Impossible to defeat anyone, especially that strong army of the Midianites. When the victory is gained with such a small number, the people would not be able to say that they defeated their enemy with their own might (Judges 7:2).

When God's Ways Cause More Stress

I wonder how Gideon felt as he marched forward with a measly 300 untrained, unequipped men ready to go against this powerful force. I wonder about the extreme level of stress and fear that he must have felt as he moved forward with a "foolish" plan that anyone would laugh at. Yes, God said He will be with Gideon, but when he faces the Midianites, who knows what the situation will be? The Midianites were fierce and powerful. They terrorized Israel for a long time.

God wasn’t interested in keeping up his popularity. He just wanted Gideon and the Israelites to know that their lives are in the hands of God. He has the ultimate power and control much beyond what we know.

When God's Reduction Increases Your Distress

What is your situation now? What are your impossibilities? Has God reduced you to nothing? All your assets and all that you thought you have going for you might have become without value. Now, you approach your tasks wondering if you can ever accomplish what you need to do. You begin to feel like you are in a more difficult situation than before.

When It's Time to Give Up

This is the best time for God to do his work. It's not that He is looking to get recognition and glory. He naturally deserves all the credit. When we get the glory, it is improper and undeserved. It's time to give up the striving and let God take over.  

When It's God's Turn

Learn to see God in the losses you face. When everything falls apart, look up and see the work of God. When you don't know where to turn, know that this is the best time to turn and allow God to take over. The results may not be as appealing as you would like. But God is there. It's His turn to take over. In the midst of being stripped of everything, allow God to take over. That will prove to be your time of greatness.

Recently I prayed with a pastor who was on the verge of quitting. As I laid hands on him to pray, I broke out in tears and my entire body began to shake even before I saw any response in him. The realities that pastors face are quite real to me and my spirit responded to his pain.
Pastors play an important role in the lives of many people. Sometimes they are acknowledged and other times they may be ignored. In this post, I want to take a look at some of the things that drive them to do the kind of ministry they do. Although these desires are not truly secrets, they are often unexpressed.
1. I Want the Ideal for People
More than just doing a job, I love to see lives changed. I want to see real transformation in people’s lives. There is an ideal that I would love to see in people as they mature in the faith.
But I also realize that people must make their own decisions. I cannot decide for them and I cannot force them. Ultimately it’s their choice.
2. I Want the Church to Outlive Me
I am not interested in making a place for me to display my preaching skills. The church should serve the purposes that God intended. I only have a temporary role in that process.
I may only be around for a few decades in this local church, but I hope to get things organized in a way that the church should be less dependent on me as time goes on.
Every leader I develop has the potential to grow into all that God intended for them. I truly want them to step up and take the leadership. I would love to pass on the pastorship of our church to a leader raised up in this church.
3. I Want to Put My Family First
After my relationship with God, there is nothing more important to me than my family. In the midst of all my pursuits for the church, my family gets priority.
Much beyond personal interests, the church needs special care for it to be formed and organized for its purposes. But it cannot consume all my waking hours or all my energies.
The church is more than a job or career. I understand it to be my calling in life. So I don’t focus on “moving up” in this profession. I focus on developing myself as a leader to enable the church to develop into the best it can be.
All of this needs to be done without sacrificing my family. After all is said and done, I need to go home to my family, as my first responsibility is to them.
4. I Want My Life to Matter
The demands on the pastor and family are many. But among all the responsibilities, I want to make a difference. I want my life to matter.
I want to be able to step aside several years from now and know that I was able to impact families and individuals. I want my life to truly be a change agent in society. It’s not driven by a desire to make a name or to be recognized, but I want to see the effects of investing my life into the community.
5. I Want to be Me
Perceptions of leaders and pastors are numerous. I realize that expectations are real and they all cannot be completely neglected. The cultural demands of the nation I serve are numerous and detailed.
But let’s be real – I still want to be me. At the end of the day I need to look in the mirror and know that I was true to myself, my family, and the call of God on my life.
These desires are my own, but many pastors may concur with me on these things. I hope this list gives you a glimpse into the heart of a pastor. Use this as an opportunity to understand and encourage your pastor.
If you appreciate the role of a pastor in your life, please share one of your experiences in the comments section of this blog post. Maybe it will be an encouragement for others as well.

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Our understanding of God is often tainted with our experiences of caregivers from our childhood. If we had impatient, judgmental parents, we may see God like that. We may not remember all our experiences from childhood, but we continue to see God as impatient and unforgiving.

It’s that feeling of constant guilt. Surely you’ve done something wrong. Again. There must be something wrong with your actions. You can’t feel accepted because of the constant guilt you feel within. Surely you must be guilty since you feel guilty.

Seems Like a Useless Pursuit

Some gave up trying to please their parents a long time ago. They also have given up trying to please their heavenly father. They figure it’s no use, God will never be satisfied. No one else seems to be satisfied with me, so God surely will not be satisfied.

We figure since God is who he is, holy and righteous, He definitely won’t be satisfied. I’m too inconsistent, sinful, and always bent on a selfish angle. There is no hope for me.

A Turning Point

It was just a few years ago that I realized that God is pleased with me just because I am his child. I suppose this idea came alive in me when our kids began going off to college, and the house began to get empty. Thoughts of our children triggered thoughts of me and my heavenly Father.

God is Infinitely Pleased With Me

What a thought – what a discovery. My Father is infinitely pleased with me just because I am His. If my life amounts to “nothing” according to other people’s standards, He is still pleased. If I don’t accomplish anything of significance in life, I am still His child, and that’s enough.

For some, this may seem like a license to live as one pleases. But maybe this is the case. We can live as we please. As an adult, I have the complete freedom to live as I please to. And what does a child of God please to do except to please the Father?

Imperfect, and Accepted

Sure, I won’t be perfect in what I do, especially in my pursuit to please my Father. But that’s okay, since I know He is already pleased. My attempts are less than perfect, and I will falter and have many failed attempts. But none of those things matter. I am already accepted by my Father.

Nothing New – God Was Always Like That

God said to the Israelites that he will not respond in burning anger, for he is God and not a man (Hos 11:9). For many people, this is a new Understanding. They thought of God as they thought of their parents and other caregivers.

We need a completely renewed understanding and experience of God. Right now, He is bending down to comfort, feed, and surround you with “bands of love” as He did with the Israelites (Hos 11:4).

Living in a society where injustice seems to be a permanent part of the social structure has been an amazing experience. Here below are my unique observances.

THE OUTWARD VIEW

Outwardly, the law is very clear and expressed. The legal systems are firmly set in place. Everything seems to work like a well oiled machine.

THE INWARD SYSTEM

But beneath the elaborate systems of order, there is an entirely different system at work. This inward system is barely visible to the human eye. It makes a complete mockery of the outward system of legality and order. Everything seems senseless.

THE FUEL OF INJUSTICE

The inward system is fueled by money, influence, power, and blackmail.  If you want to get anything done with the outward system, you must invoke the powers of the inward system. Submit your application, then work the inward system to get the application moving. If your request is difficult to impossible, there is no problem as long as you properly work the inward system.

THE FOOLISH SIMPLETONS

Those who don't engage the inward system are the losers.  They simply go in circles unable to get things done. They haven't learned to use money, influence, power, or blackmail to get things done. Or, they just don't have access to those things required to work the inward system.

THE DELICATE IMBALANCE 

Thus society moves along with a delicate imbalance that everyone acknowledges, but no one dares to touch. The powerful roam the streets with pomp and delight over their ability to be in control. And the rest of the people just struggle to survive.

THE CONFLICTING SOLUTION

Numerous times I've asked the question, "What's the use? Why hold on to integrity when the situation makes it impossible?" But recently I was reminded of Jesus' promise/warning:

"Look, I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to each person according to what they have done" (Revelation 22:12) NIV.

For some, it is a promise. But for others, it is a warning.

*How do you handle such ridiculous situations? Leave your response in the comments section of this blog post. Remember to share on Facebook, Twitter, and other social media networks.  

When we started small groups among college students in 1997, most of our groups were in English. So in this small town called Adoor, our church was known as an “English” church. But as we began reaching out to the rest of the community, we realized there was no other way than to use the native Malayalam language. Gradually we switched our services entirely to Malayalam.

Several years ago, some people in our church began asking for an English service. They also pointed out that there might be others in the community that would be interested. So we went through the work of organizing everything we would need to start another service — in English.

But within a few short months, most of those who asked for an English service began to switch back to the Malayalam service. They gave various reasons, but one thing was clear to me. Malayalam was their heart language. They were fully functional in English, but the “gears of their heart” work better with Malayalam, their “heart” language.

Similarly, throughout northern India, there are numerous tribal groups that can understand Hindi, the national language. But they have a local language that truly is their first language, and the language that touches their heart. All over India and all over the world, there are Bible translators who spend their lives to translate the Bible into various languages so the hearts of people may be touched with the message of the Bible.

Several of my former students are currently located in remote villages investing their lives so the Bible can be available to people in their own languages. Recently I met Anthony Speziale, who is planning to work in Papua New Guinea serving Bible translators through aviation. His story intrigued me as an example of the many who have given their lives for the Word of God throughout the centuries.

Here is his story:

“Four years ago I was an alcoholic, going through a divorce and on the verge of losing my job of twelve years. God restored me spiritually, emotionally and physically. Today, I am preparing to leave on a three year assignment with Wycliffe Bible Translators to Papua New Guinea. There I will be serving Bible translation through aviation. Most people I know think giving away everything you own to go and live in another country is a heavy cross to bear. I find the weight of that cross light… and the opportunity to minister in Papua New Guinea very exciting.”

Here is his vision:

“Did you know that 180 million people in over 1800 languages around the world are still waiting for a Bible to be translated into their native tongue? That is hard to comprehend for most of us who own or have access to multiple translations of the Bible in our own language. A lady in Papua New Guinea who recently received a translation of God’s word into her native tongue, likened it to “eating a banana for the first time, without the peel.” As a member of Wycliffe, I am committed to seeing that a Bible translation project be started in every language around the world that needs one, by the year 2025!”

If you are interested to know more about what Anthony is up to, visit his website:  tony_speziale@wycliffe.org   or view his Facebook page at: https://www.facebook.com/groups/290926551067487/  The following link is a two minute video on the amazing effect Bible translation can have in building relationships with Jesus Christ. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FE3xnhd_Pls

For two years before the healing of my chronic back pain, I went through intense revisiting of the past. I now continue to work on things that come up from time to time that create stress. It’s great to begin to get a handle on your stress. I was excited about the progress.

But just then, several things happened that put me in an intense period of stressful situations. Jobs, ministry, education, and other factors removed several key leaders from our church in Adoor. This put me in a tight situation where more things depended on me than ever before.

It was at this point that we finally got the permission to build the hall we were wanting to build for so long. Just at the most inappropriate time, just when I felt helpless, this new task began. Inundated with construction details, fundraising, and a host of other things along with my role as a pastor and instructor at the seminary, it is surely prime time for stress.  

Through all of this, I believe God’s hand is in all of this. Above all of that, I believe His hand is on me as well. Now, here’s what I’m learning:

1. Accept That Annoying People Will Continue to Annoy

You wish those people with annoying attitudes will stop already. But never. That’s what they’re supposed to do. Maybe they’re put there by God for that very purpose. Or maybe that’s their purpose in life.

Whichever way you look at the situation, you’ve got to accept that people will not change. They will remain the same regardless of your attempts. Accept them for who they are. Accept that they will always continue to behave in the same annoying way they’ve always behaved.

2. Understand That You Can Handle a Lot More Than You Think

There is a limit in your mind regarding how much you can handle. When you get to that threshold, you wonder what will happen next. Will I make it? Will I explode? Is this the end?

But then you wake up the next day and realize you are still alive. That’s when you begin to wonder if you truly can handle more than you thought you could. You only know this when you’ve been pushed to the limits. Yes, you can handle much more.

3. Increase Your Response Time Gap 

One sure way stressful people can save the day is to simply wait. Just wait to give a response. Just wait to give a reply. Tell them you’ll call back later with a reply. Put that email aside and reply tomorrow. Say you’ll let them know tomorrow and walk away.

That increase in your response time gap will do wonders. You’ll get to think things over and talk to others. Get a handle on your emotions, fear, anxiety, and anything else that haunts you. Just simply take more time for a response.

4. Focus Your Time and Attention on Deserving Matters 

Sure you can do more, but should you? Just because you can do more doesn’t mean that you need to fill your calendar full of activities. Focus your time and attention on those things that matter to you and those you care about. Devote your precious time to those things that are meaningful and productive. Think long term.

This is your opportunity to perfect your “fine art” of saying NO. Many things will pull for your attention, but you must evaluate and determine what you will give your time to. There are times when you need to spend countless hours for a particular task. These are times of focus that are required for important tasks, but these are to be short lived. You cannot go on like that for ever. You cannot be pushing your limits all the time.

5. Return to God Every Time Stress Gets You

When you are pushed to the limits, you feel the pressure building up in your mind, emotions, head, or chest. You begin to feel regret, remorse, anger, sadness, or a combination of these. You wonder how you can keep control of your self. You realize you can’t.

This is the time to step back and turn to God. Every time you’re stressed, you’ve got to go to Him and cry out for His presence. Ask God to come fill you with the Holy Spirit once again. These will be simply words at that moment of intense pressure, but they will be words of faith when you really mean it. This is a vital point in your relationship with God.

It is at this point where you acknowledge your creator for who He is. He is your sustainer, provider, and sanity-giver. Go to God every time. Get a grip on life and a grip on stress. Stressful times will always be there, and God will always be there for you.

Would you like to add to this list? Please share it in the comments.

There is plenty of confusion regarding wealth and prosperity. Some people put blame on those who teach on the blessings of God. They are accused of preaching a “Prosperity Gospel,” one that they claim is not Biblical.

 
In Matthew 26, when someone used expensive perfume on Jesus, the disciples complained that the money could have been used to help the poor. Several years ago, when our church met in a hotel here in our town, several people complained that the expense of renting that hall was a waste.
With all these arguments swirling around, many people feel a sense of guilt regarding what they own and enjoy in life. In this brief post, we won’t be able to take an exhaustive look at this issue, but I want to draw out some principles from Hosea 10:1,2: “Israel is a luxuriant vine that yields its fruit. The more his fruit increased, the more altars he built; as his country improved, he improved his pillars. Their heart is false; now they must bear their guilt. The Lord will break down their altars and destroy their pillars.”
It would be impossible to define what amount of salary is too much, which car is too expensive, how big of a house one should live in, how costly can your wardrobe be, or other factors that we use to determine wealth. From the above verses I believe there are three things we need to keep a check on: Your altars, pillars, and heart.
1. Check your altars
When the Israelites increased in wealth, they built more altars. Their love for God became a matter of influence. They used “religion” as an opportunity to build relationships with foreign nations. They hoped that the increase in such relations would bring in more wealth. God was never interested in religion. He wanted a relationship with his people.
When your wealth increases, what happens with your relationship with God? Does it go deeper and more personal? Or, do you try to improve your religiosity and influence through religious connections? Your connections and relations may increase and bring you more wealth, but gradually you will loose your relationship with God.
Don’t fear, hate, or oppose wealth. Just keep a check on your most prominent relationship: God.
2. Check your pillars
For Israel, pillars could be part of the worship, where they had used Asherah poles from neighboring religions. But pillars could also indicate the large pillars used for the prominent buildings of their dignitaries. Their wealth and power was displayed by building larger and more pillars.
These structures indicated wealth, affluence, and power. This was an opportunity to flaunt their wealth so others can see. They gained satisfaction from this grandiose display of great structures so others can see their greatness.
Wealth was to be used for one’s own purposes and to help others. Flaunting and displaying was never the purpose. These were clear indicators that they were using their wealth in an improper manner.
Don’t fear, hate, or oppose wealth. Just keep a check on your pillars: what do you display?
3. Check your heart
They were guilty of having a heart that is false. Initially, God had given them a “land flowing with milk and honey” so that they can be a blessing to others. They were to be a lifeline to the needy – the widows, orphans, and the destitute.
Their present condition proved that their purpose had moved away from the original plan of God for their prosperity. An internal shift had taken place, showing that their heart moved away from God’s plan. They had a heart that shifted from God’s ways. Thus the Bible says that their heart is false.
Along with enjoying the prosperity that God gives, use what you have to bless others. The danger is that many of us will look at our finances and claim that we are not prosperous. But we need to bless others whatever our financial condition. Make sure your heart stays focused on God’s plan for your life to be a blessing to others.
Don’t fear, hate, or oppose wealth. Just keep a check on your heart.

“You people die healthy, I'm gonna die happy.” This was the response of a young man enjoying a fat greasy burger, fries, and a large drink. He was sitting in the employee lounge with a group of people who were mostly eating healthy food. When they told him about the benefits of eating healthy, those words were his response.

I just read a quote on Zig Ziglar’s Facebook page that says “You are free to choose, but you are not free from the consequences of your choice.” Perfect timing since I was about to write on Hosea 8:7a “For they sow the wind, and they shall reap the whirlwind.”

From ancient days, this truth has been a standard. This concept was probably developed from the agricultural past of our ancestors. Even now, this remains true, and we still struggle to live by it. It seems we are trapped by our choices. Here are four reasons why we seem to fall into this trap.

1. We think choices imply permission

This may be a logical fallacy on our part. In essence, “what else is a choice for but to take it?” We assume that if the option is open and available, then it is there for our purpose. We jump to a conclusion and make the choice without thinking through the consequences.

2. We have not been taught how to make choices

This is a common struggle of people who had parents who were too controlling. Many domineering parents are like that for the good of their children. They want to protect them from harmful decisions. But this approach makes them unable to make intelligent choices as adults in the future.

3. The losses we face cause us to think we deserve some things

Those who experience numerous losses in their childhood may grow up with a scarcity perspective. So, when choices are available for them, they jump to decisions without sufficient thought. It is as if these are opportunities to make up for the losses they have faced.

4. Consequences are not clear to us 

We may be blinded to negative consequences due to various reasons such as inexperience, lack of good advice, or simply ignorance. Such a lack of clarity about the consequences of our choices will definitely make us vulnerable to making the wrong choices. We may opt for whatever appeals to our senses at that moment in time.

As God’s creation, the choices we have in life are a gift to us. The world was created with plenty of variety and choices. Make sure to avoid the dangers and stay away from the traps. But feel free to explore your choices and take your liberty.

Reaching Out in Distress

Remember these posts? “Feeling lonely,” “Feeling depressed, angry, gloomy…” These posts on social media are often followed by responses from readers with sympathetic words. The list of responses are often quite long. Do these words have any lasting impact? Is the person’s condition improved by the words offered by sympathetic fingers as they type away on their keyboards or phones?

It’s healthy to have friends you can turn to in times of deep sorrow. But turn to God first. He will strengthen your heart with his Spirit, and enlighten your mind with His perspective. Your friends will give you advice based on their perspective which may come from their own brokenness.

God is Waiting for You

When the people of Israel experienced extreme suffering, they refused to turn to God. He commented about their condition and said: "They do not cry to me from the heart, but they wail upon their beds; for grain and wine they gash themselves; they rebel against me" (Hos 7:14).

It seems we turn everywhere else but to God. Israelites did that too. But God is waiting for you to reach out to Him in your distress. He will be your strength when you have none left.

Skip the Social Media and Friends

You need the encouragement and companionship of friends, but they must come second. Allow God to impact your heart and mind before anyone else does. When the struggles of life cause you to cry out in pain, bypass your friends and social media and go directly to God. He is ready to help, and he is waiting. Will you go to him first?

When you turn to God first, He will impact your thinking about your situation. When you approach your friends, each of them will have their own ideas based on their hang ups. On social media, you'll get advice that spans the entire spectrum with no limits. So give God your first priority and allow Him to direct you.