Once in a while Susan* would come out of her shell and try to talk with others and smile. But most of the time she was simply withdrawn and isolated. She came to church regularly and attended all of the special meetings and gatherings. But somehow she just couldn’t connect with most of the people.
-
Her problems were different. Others could not understand her situation. As pastors, my wife and I attempted to help her connect with the rest of the people in our church. We knew that would be good and healthy for her spiritually and emotionally. But she felt that no one else understands her pain and struggles. She just couldn’t see how anyone could possibly help her.Several people tried to reach out to her, but they just couldn’t connect. Her problems were too deep and intense, and their patience in listening to her wore out quickly. So she remained in her “shell” for a long time. Visits to counselors and psychiatrists continued, but there was no change in her.Susan just couldn’t understand how God could love her or understand her situation. She felt that she was too “broken” for God to ever want her. But the Bible is clear that God accepts these “broken” ones. The Psalmist says “The sacrifices of God are a broken Spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise. (Psalm 51:17 ESV)The above mentioned Psalm was possibly written during a time when animal sacrifices were still common in Israel. But even in that time, a broken and contrite heart was understood to be the primary requirement. Yes, the sacrifices continued, but they had to be offered with such a heart that was open and contrite before God.This is exactly what God wants of his people: brokenness and contriteness. This doesn’t mean that God wants his people in a mess. He wants us to be aware of our brokenness so we can be open to his love.Its a fact that people usually remain the same. They’re busy with their own problems and struggles in life. They may not have the time nor even care to look in your direction. But God remains faithful. Keep trusting him, and keep moving forward.What do you do when no one seems to care?Share your experiences in the comments section of this blog.*Name changedPhoto by jasleen_kaur Creative Commons
-
After picking up the phone and the usual hello, I went on to a simple question: “So, how are things?” That question brought on a flood of tears and complaints about that person’s spouse, children, extended family, and church members. As I stood there listening to this for a few minutes, I felt like my head was spinning as if I was on one of those crazy rides in an amusement park.
But there are other times when this person is light and bubbly, and everything is wonderful. At this point the questions are answered differently. How is your spouse? “In God’s hands, safe as ever.” And your children? Oh their future is secure by God’s mercy.” As I go on asking about each item that previously troubled that person, they see it all from a different perspective. Same problems, same people, but just a different perspective.
It seems Job also struggled with perspectives in his life. He said: “My spirit is broken; my days are extinct; the graveyard is ready for me. Surely there are mockers about me, and my eye dwells on their provocation” (Job 17:1-2 ESV). When I read these verses I thought about the person I mentioned above, as well as many others in similar situations. Job said his eyes were focused on their provocation. That focus led to the fateful words “the graveyard is ready for me.” Many things in life can be “broken.” But when your spirit is broken, that is intense. As Job focused on his brokenness, the only hope he could see was the graveyard.
Job’s problem was that his eyes dwelt on the provocation of his enemies. By doing that, he “empowered” his problems. He empowered them to have such a negative impact on him. He obviously could not recognize that his perspective was the problem, that it caused him to conclude his fate in the graveyard.
Getting our focus off of our problems and on to God doesn’t guarantee that all our problems will go away. In fact, they may continue just as ever. The difference is its effect on us. We won’t be shattered. Our faith won’t be shaken. And most importantly we won’t have to conclude that our only hope is the grave.
When the philistines drew up the battle lines against Israel, they had their “star” warrior Goliath right in the front. It seems that the entire Israelite army was focused on Goliath. And they were all clearly shaken. Their focus on Goliath and his might “empowered” that situation. But David was not impressed. His focus was on God and that made all the difference.
So, do you find yourself focused on your problem? Are you “empowering” your problems and finding that you are ready for the graveyard like Job?
What is your greatest hindrance to fixing your eyes on God?
Share it here in the comments.
Photo by Fried Dough – Creative Commons
-
Several years ago, severe persecution against Christians broke out in Orissa (Odisha), a northern state of India. The Christians in one district were attacked, beaten, and driven away from their homes, and many were killed. The people doing this heinous act blocked off an entire district and would not allow anyone to enter or exit their district.
A video recorded on someone’s phone was circulated over the internet and I got a copy. I watched that video in total amazement of what human beings can do to each other. Houses were burned down, churches were ransacked and looted, women were attacked and violated, and people were driven from their homes. One particular incident caught my attention. There was a video of a man being severely beaten in the middle of the street by a group of people with sticks, clubs, and other crude weapons. The man was begging for mercy as the blows landed on all parts of his body. Two places in particular were focused on: the head and the knee. If the person survived, he may never by able to walk properly as a result of shattered knee caps.Right at that point, a man was walking by on the side of the road. When he saw this man being attacked, he stopped walking and observed for a brief moment. Then he walked to the middle of the road and kicked this man several times in various parts of his body and walked away.Out of that entire video, this one incident stood out to me as peculiar. A passer-by who may have had nothing to do with the event that took place suddenly made the decision to join others in the attack. Then he walked away as if nothing happened.I realize the above example is a bit too extreme. But daily, we face choices of varying degrees. We deal with people every day who are suffering at some level with numerous issues. For each, we have three steps to take: Recognize the suffering, choose how we will respond, and take action.Recognizing the sufferings of people may not be as obvious as the story above. The people may go through all the normal activities of life without being outwardly affected by their struggles. Their sufferings may not be outwardly visible, but they are just as real. For some, their struggles are outwardly manifested as various habits and dysfunctions. These habits may be utterly irritating and may isolate this person from others.A conscious choice must be made to respond to the pain of others. Proverbs says “Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it” (Proverbs 3:27 ESV). But we may fear their rejection, the response of others, or our inability to help that person. Some respond by attacking them and making them feel guilty. But you can choose mercy like Jesus did. He was merciful to the broken and hard on the hypocritical ones.Finally, when you take action, you are acting as an agent of God’s kingdom here on the earth. You become as God’s hand reaching out just as Jesus did. Remember that mercy triumphs over judgment. So we respond with mercy and God responds with love and transformation in that person’s life.When you notice someone suffering, what is your greatest hindrance to responding with mercy?Share it in the comments.Photo by rajkumar1220 Creative Commons -
I just finished looking through a small box of old memorabilia from my school days. Most of the items are identification cards, letters, and other miscellaneous items. Awards and trophies? No, none of those. On second thought, there were a few that caught my attention. One was a lapel pin with the word “effort” and another with the words “perfect attendance.”
I remember the time these were given out. Toward the end of fourth grade, we were all standing in line in the hallway. Prizes were given for different subjects. I stood there with hopes, but no expectation. Finally I heard my name. I couldn’t believe it. I thought it must have been a mistake. What subject would I get a prize for? When I finally got the item in my hand, it was a pin that read “effort.” It was my second year in fourth grade, and the best I could do was to put in some effort.
The next prize was in sixth grade. Hoping that things would improve, my parents put me in a private school (which only lasted one year). That year I got my second pin, and it read “perfect attendance.” No matter how cold it was, in the rain, snow, or whatever the situation, I went to school. Even when I was sick, it didn’t matter – I would show up. In spite of all my efforts in academics the best commendation for me that year was “perfect attendance.”
Through my high school days, in college, and in Seminary, I was surrounded by classmates who excelled in many things. They were active and popular in various activities such as sports, music, public speaking, and various clubs. But I didn’t find myself excelling in any of these areas. I was just “average” in everything I did.
While I was in Seminary, I helped a friend as he planted a church in that city. I had the opportunity to make some small contributions there in my own way by starting a few small groups. At that time I thought: “Wow. Maybe I can be useful to God.” Then I heard the teachings of John Wimber and I was specifically impacted by the phrase he used so often: “Everyone gets to play.”
In God’s kingdom, “everyone gets to play.” I was the one who was always on the sidelines just kicking stones and walking up and down the sidelines. But in God’s kingdom I get to play. In fact in the Kingdom, I have unlimited opportunity to do the works of God. Without any limitation I get to heal the sick, cast out demons, and tell others about God’s kingdom. Luke tells how he commissioned his disciples “And he called the twelve together and gave them power and authority over all demons and to cure diseases, and he sent them out to proclaim the kingdom of God and to heal” (Luke 9:1-2 ESV). And of course, this was not limited to just the disciples, but to those who believe: “And these signs will accompany those who believe: in my name they will cast out demons; they will speak in new tongues; they will pick up serpents with their hands; and if they drink any deadly poison, it will not hurt them; they will lay their hands on the sick, and they will recover” (Mark 16:17-18 ESV).
So, in the church that Jesus began with the disciples, “everyone gets to play.” And most importantly I get to play. Even though I am just average and ordinary, I get to join with God in doing extraordinary things.
So, do you “get to play?” Share your experiences of being average or ordinary. Share it in the comments.
Photo by Richard Masoner / Cyclelicious
-
Defending God or his Word is like defending a lion (A lion does not need to be defended, he’ll defend himself). For many years, the defense of the Bible has been a concern for me. I felt that it was vital to our faith and to the sustenance of the church at large. In every situation where I felt that God or the Bible was at “risk,” I would speak up in defense with the best of my knowledge and learning.
But within me, there was always a doubt. The doubt was not about the reliability of the Bible or God. The doubt was about the viability of a totally convincing argument for the scriptures (along with that, I take into consideration the multi-religious context I live in). I knew that words can be used to defend or attack anything from any angle. During my years of training and ministry, I’ve used words. And I think I can use them fairly well, but I’ve always recognized the limitations as well. They are powerful and like a double edged sword you can use them both ways.I remember being on the debate team in high school. We took prominent issues of the day and randomly took sides. I could argue for or against anything. We worked hard to develop our arguments in defense of the side we took. It didn’t matter what side I was on, I could defend it and attack the opposite view as well.In 2004 I began my doctoral studies at a university that many would call “secular” or “liberal.” the primary argument against such education is that the scripture is not appropriately defended. That is offensive to many people, since the Bible is the word of God. Yes, it is the word of God as well as literature. During my years of study, I researched the scripture as literature. But I did not loose my faith in God nor the Scripture. Instead, I believe I have a renewed sense of respect and admiration for the Bible as the word of God.Now back to defending the lion. For about two thousand years, the Bible has stood the test of time. It has gone through every kind of scrutiny one can imagine. For centuries, there have been people who attempted to discredit or destroy this book. But I believe God has a special interest in preserving this book through the ages. As a result, we have these words in our hands and in our hearts.So my challenge to you today is to “set the lion free.” Don’t be afraid if the scriptures are attacked. The “Lion” is safe; he can defend himself. The Bible is firm enough to stand on its own without our help or defense.Have you experienced that fear of the Bible loosing its significance? How have you responded to that fear? You can share that in the comments here.Photo by PhotoBobil – Creative Commons -
It was an important exam and I failed. As the papers were returned, many students were joyfully talking and showing others the results of their hard work and the good grades they received.But along with several others I sat there silently. It felt like a heavy load was put on my shoulders as I looked at my paper. There was no denying, and certainly no other option but to acknowledge that I failed. I slowly began to walk around the room and I looked at the papers of the other “silent ones” in the classroom.When I noticed that several others had lower grades than me, my demeanor began to change. “So I didn’t do as bad as others.” The heavy load on my shoulders began to get lighter. I began to feel somewhat “better” about myself and my grades. It was sort of a comfort in the midst of the storm.For just a second I thought about those who had the lowest grades and how bad they must be feeling – but that didn’t really matter since I was feeling better. Surely my grades were better than theirs. Although the reality of my failure did not change, all that mattered at that moment was that I felt better. Momentarily I found a way to justify my actions – my failure.Over the years, I have mulled over that feeling many times. Its that feeling of “I’m not as bad as others – they are much worse.” Such a thought produces a good feeling for it allows me two comforts. First, I can ignore my own situation of failure by thinking of the failures of others worse than me. And second, I can enjoy that momentary comfort and feeling that I am somewhat better in spite of my circumstances.Maybe Jesus was talking to someone like this when he said, “Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye ” (Matthew 7:3-5 ESV). These words of Jesus were directed towards the situation where one may openly judge and accuse another person. But here, we are dealing with an internal situation of the mind and heart. Others are not directly being affected, but it takes the form of an internal attitude. It’s sort of a “self talk” that may seem completely safe. Certainly not harmful to anyone.While it may be harmless to others, it sabotages our opportunity to be real and broken with God. The Bible clearly says “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise” (Psalm 51:17 ESV). So the promise is clear that God “will not despise” the one who comes to him in brokenness.Otherwise we ignore God’s mercy. Because of our inability to acknowledge our brokenness, we just can’t receive the love and encouragement that God gives us. Thus we continue in a cycle of justifying our actions at every stage of life.But as we come clean with God, as we admit our brokenness and our need of him, we are able to enjoy the full benefits of being God’s child. We don’t need to hide from him. He won’t despise us. He won’t be angry with us. So go to him. He’ll accept you.Have you been afraid to go to God with your brokenness? Share it here in the comments.Photo by comedy nose
-
Haunted by Unrealistic Expectations
Years ago I saw a friend of mine wearing a t-shirt that read DON’T SHOULD ON ME. When I asked him about it he said “there are just too many people telling me ‘you should do this’ or ‘you should do that,’ and I’m just tired of it.”The expectations of others can haunt you for the rest of your life. John Maxwell said that most people are followers. That may be true, but there also seems to be so many idealists around with a wide spectrum of concepts. So many voices attempting to direct my thoughts and actions, telling me what I should and should not do.Over the years, I’ve had my share of people telling me what I “should” do. I have always realized that many of these expectations were unrealistic and not worth my time. But there seems to be a problem. There is a part of me that continuously doubts my own thoughts and actions. Am I to listen to those voices that continue to tell me what I should do? Am I doing all that I could be doing?Growing up in a traditional Pentecostal family and church, I faced lots of expectations. I remember the time in my mid-teens when I was “filled” with the Holy Spirit. I felt the overwhelming power of God’s Spirit on me and spoke in tongues. Then about a month later, several church members walked up to me and asked why I am not responding as other do in the church during the services. “After all, you were filled with the Holy Spirit.” Then they said something that astounded me: “You can’t just sit around like this. You should get up and respond like all the others who are filled with the Spirit.” Even at that age, I was stunned at the thought that my spirituality was being measured by the response of others.That is just one example of the many expectations that I grew up with. These experiences have certainly impacted my thinking. This may be the reason I question myself continuously and doubt every step I take. Can I be trusted to make good decisions? Are all these expectations to be heeded?I am reminded of the words of Paul: “For it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure” (Philippians 2:13 ESV). This verse has given me lots of consolation through the years. I don’t need to live in fear that I will make the wrong choices and decisions. God will do his work in me to desire and to do his will. Certainly I value instruction and guidance from others. I don’t want to neglect that. Several mentors have impacted my life tremendously through the years, and I am grateful for that.I may be limited by my abilities, but God is capable to do his work in me. What confidence in the midst of my doubts and all the unrealistic expectations that surround me! Still, once in a while, I get back to my old way of thinking. The expectations of others and the desire to perform and to be accepted can get the best of me. It’s a great task for me to divert all the unrealistic expectations and to be free. Free to pursue what God put in my heart.Really – I trust God to work in me both to will and to work for his good pleasure.What are the expectations that haunt you? How do you handle them? -
When children fall, they often have the habit of looking around for a split second. Before they get up, they want to know: “Did anyone see this great tragedy of mine?” They make a quick evaluation based upon the intensity of their pain, and the response of others. If others have noticed, then a flood of tears and the incessant cries begin as a result of the pain. The emotional response of the pain is released. If no one has noticed, then the pain and the tears are both suppressed.
This pattern is often carried into adulthood. If there is a compassionate listening ear, we are more prone to share our burdens and the pain deep within us. That becomes an opportunity for us to open ourselves up so that our inward being can be healed. Does anyone care? Is anyone concerned?
But if there is no listening ear, then it is clear that there is no opportunity to open up. Thus we suppress the hurt and pain deep within us. Unless properly dealt with, the suppressed pain and emotions stay within this individual throughout their entire lives. There are three areas where these suppressed emotions will impact the person: social, spiritual, and physical.
Socially, the suppressed emotions act as a filter. All our experiences are interpreted through this filter. The danger in this is that our pain and suppressed emotions will cause us to react in negative ways. We will appear irritated, hurtful, and illogical even in the simple aspects of daily life. Our friends and families will become the “victims” of our emotional tirades. But during that time, we will see ourselves as the victim and everyone else as our enemies. This eventually turns into a vicious cycle from which it is difficult to break out.
Spiritually, something similar happens to us. We interpret God and his work from the same perspective of our pain. Although we may not see God as our enemy (sometime we do), we are not able to draw close to him. Our relationship with God remains superficial, with only a “formal” religiosity. No intimate connection with God at all. Ultimately we end up with a “form” of godliness, but no life.
The physical results of pain and suppressed emotions can also be identified. Numerous physical ailments have been traced to emotional and stress related issues. For 17 years, my lower back pain had caused me tremendous pain, and other challenges as well. It was a long process of emotional healing which continues even now. You can read about that at this link. That process was accelerated tremendously when I understood the link between my chronic lower back pain and my emotions. It was a book by Dr. Joseph Bowles that alerted me to that connection and helped me to deal with it systematically.
So, does anyone care? Of course there are so many who care, but because of my “filter” of pain and suppressed emotions, I just haven’t noticed. Now I am on a journey — a journey of healing. This journey is three-fold: social, spiritual, and physical. The physical is complete, but so much is lacking in other areas. The Holy Spirit is literally walking me through this process. It’s a painful process, but well worth it.
How about you? Does anyone care? What’s your journey like?
Share it here in the comments.
-
Jack* was a man we ministered to over twenty three years ago. He was constantly in and out of jail for various crimes. He lived with his mother and tried to take care of her (whenever he was not in jail). Each time he came out of jail or out of some major trouble with the law, he would call and we would get together and talk. I would pray intently for him and he would cry as the Holy Spirit came over him bringing conviction. He badly wanted to overcome his drug and alcohol habits which were the ultimate things that separated him and his wife. He wished he could watch his children grow up through each stage in life. But with his numerous addictions, that just wasn’t possible.
Getting a job also seemed impossible for him. Seeing his blood-shot eyes and piercing gaze would put fear in most people, much less give him a job. Long gaps in his work history gave way to questions he struggled to answer. But eventually he would tell of his prison sentence – and thus the end of the interview and opportunity for the job as well.It still remains a challenge for me to know how to deal with such people who struggle to get a basic grip on life. We know what they really need – complete freedom from their addictions and a lasting stability. But that’s what they’ve wanted all these years. And that’s what we’ve been trying to help them with as well. But how do we get them from here to there?The hindrances for these people are numerous. They are often interconnected with a circle of friends whose basic paradigm of life revolves around escaping the troubles of life. Time and time again they struggle to make meaning of their lives. But with a lack of hope and meaning, they gravitate towards others with a similar perspective on life.But “shouldn’t they just get their act together like everyone else?” First of all, I’m not sure how many of us really have our “act together.” Often, the primary difference between those who struggle with addictions and those who don’t may not be much. My response to problems may be the type that can easily be hidden from others. But for these, their response becomes visible for everyone to see.We need to adopt the basic understanding that we are all on a journey through life. As a fellow traveler, we need to be patient and understanding towards those who struggle with various addictions. That understanding will be the first step towards healing.No one is too far gone for God to reach them and to transform their lives. There is always hope. With sufficient regular support and backup, they can overcome their addictions.Yes, I have seen the occasional miraculous transformation where the power of God does an immediate and complete work. And the person is completely delivered from their addictions. But often, the need is great for an understanding community that will walk with this person to complete freedom.*Name changed for privacy
Please share your comments here.Photo by Casey Serin – Creative Commons -
Which are the dreams in your life that have never been fulfilled? Maybe they are promises of God that have never become a reality. Those promises also became your dream as well. But somehow, life seems to have led you in a different path.
After reaching a certain age, you have concluded that some of these dreams are no longer possible. You know that there is no way for circumstances to be reversed so that your dreams can be fulfilled.
Abraham was a man who faced an unfulfilled dream all his life. God called Abraham to go to the land that he would show to him. When he arrived in that land, God indicated to him that this is the land that will be given to him and his descendants. But they lived like foreigners in that land that was to be their own.Several ancestors are mentioned in Hebrews 11 who lived with what seems to be unfulfilled promises.“These all died in faith, not having received the things promised, but having seen them and greeted them from afar, and having acknowledged that they were strangers and exiles on the earth. For people who speak thus make it clear that they are seeking a homeland. If they had been thinking of that land from which they had gone out, they would have had opportunity to return. But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared for them a city.” (Hebrews 11:13-16 ESV)So, instead of fulfilled dreams, all you have is a mess. There are certain important aspects of your life where you expected progress, but all you see is brokenness, a mess.When God called Abraham, his entire life changed because his focus changed. He set out for something greater than what his life could offer. Yes, he continued to live his life on this earth, but his ultimate aim was something greater, something beyond. That’s why he left the land of his ancestry. That’s why he was willing to sacrifice his only son.Instead of complaining and pouting, try Abraham’s method. Keep looking forward to the better future that God has for you in his presence. Allow the struggles of this life to point you to that great future God has for you. Let it constantly remind you that this life is not the ultimate reality. But that there is an awesome future waiting for you in God’s presence.Do you have the assurance of this great future with God? If you are not completely sure, I have a special message for you here at this link.So, what is your evidence for a great future? Share it here in the comments section.Photo by MinutesAlone – Creative Commons








